Wed 25 Oct 2006
Wondercum! And more Wondercum!
Posted by anaglyph under Cow Matters, Spam Observations
[19] Comments
Yes, Wondercum!
I suppose you’re all wondering why I keep saying Wondercum? Well, this morning I noticed that my blog hits had spiked outta control yesterday so I did a little bit of stat investigation and whaddya know! I’ve been visited by by zillions* of people looking for Wondercum! I’m not slow! I immediately grokked that if I mention Wondercum a lot, I’m really going to bump up my hit count!â€
So I want to give a big shout-out to all you visitors to The Cow looking to increase your sperm quantities to Flood Warning Levels. My personal recommendation is that you forget the Wondercum (it’s probably just as effective as green apples, but I’m wagering far less palatable) and stick around for a few laughs and some intellect expansion here at Tetherd Cow Ahead.
We’ll save you money and give you a much better chance with the chicks.
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*Exaggeration. I feel that this is allowable in the realms of Sperm Spam World.
†I also realise that this means I’m implicitly riding on the coat tails of spammers. It’s about time I got something back from them.
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Don’t forget the ‘Insincerity‘ launch – October 31st!
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19 Responses to “ Wondercum! And more Wondercum! ”
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[…] •A: Green apples. In the Comments, Dr Samuel J M Maligi pleaded for me to send him a six month supply of Wondercum and I suggested he try green apples. […]
try lesbian next, that always works too for the title
You know what gets me the most hits? Toey. God, you Aussies are a toey lot.
Followed closely by the lyrics to “Blister in the Sun”. (Lines most often typed: High as a kite / I just might stop to check you out.”)
treespotter: Thanks, good tip. I’m working on the Ultimate Hit Attracting Title. It will be something like “Naked Lesbian Housewife Wondercum Jelly Wrestling Festival”
Jill: Hmmm. Toey. Odd. More grist for the mill. I think I’ll wait for a quiet day and then come out with all guns blazing (so to speak).
All your cum are belong to us.
Funny about “toey.” I heard it used only once while I was in your neck of the tectonics, and it was a bartender trying to keep us from fighting. I don’t think Americans have the right idea about that word.
Casey, I’ve been lectured by Aussies of various generations, and it seems evident that they don’t agree among themselves what the word means; however, the youngest generation seems to have a certain concept of the word, and that is what is searched, discussed, and recommended as reading among them on the internet. And I would apparently be the expert on that, examining the number of referrals I get directly from people’s email accounts, linking directly to that post. And I never thought my cyberspace claim to fame would be ranking #2 on a Google search for a rough synonym of “horny”.
Casey: I discussed it with Jill once and the usage I am familiar with is more along the lines of what you encountered. ‘Toey’: as in ‘a little bit put-out; tetchy; looking for a fight;’ I’m guessing the bartender said something like “Now don’t get toey you two, or I’m putting the boot in and turfing you out!”
But Jill is also right – the word seems to have evolved into a more suggestive meaning, closer in line with ‘horny’. I was skeptical (sorry Jill, mea culpa) but I have since heard it used in the manner she knows (and loves).
So the bottom line is, I guess, don’t suggest someone is being a bit toey in a pub in Australia these days, unles you’re intentionally hanging out in Oxford St in Sydney and understand the likely consequences…
tetchy?
Oxford st. does complicate things. If a dude touched my butt while I was just watching a parade, I’d probably get toey in the one way, and if he saw me get toey, he might get toey the other way and then there would be a huge fight in which all the older, more traditional, leather-clad gay men would be yelling at me for getting toey, while the younger, hipper, Macintosh-chic gay crowd would be wondering why someone wouldn’t want to get toey, especially with a strapping young specimen like myself in sweaty combat. I have visions of running from a bunch of very well dressed and healthy young men with iPod buds sticking out of their ears.
Y’all need to get that shit wrote down or something.
Hey, watch it with the Apple-Is-Gay inferences big boy, or I’m gonna get your name listed in the Star Observer personals. Then you and the leather boys can discuss semantics over a shandy in the Q.
:p
Occasionally someone does attempt to write it all down. There’s classic book called ‘Let Stalk Strine’ which still holds valuable pearls of wisdom when it comes to slang. But my reliable ‘Reader’s Digest Guide to Australian Slang’ says that ‘toey’ means “anxiously truculent, confrontational”, so it’s evidently out of date. But that is the lot of dictionaries anyway when you have an evolving language.
Iam in Sierra Leone, West Africa and very much desirous of having wondercum but do not have acredit card. Please advise me on how to pay for it. I WANT A SIX MONTH SUPPLY AS SOON AS POSSIBLE PLEASE HELP THANKS
Sorry Doctor Sam, I just comment on it, I don’t sell it. Surely you have some kind of local herbal remedy over there that would be just as effective. If not, try green apples.
LOL, yep thats how I found this page just now. I got some crazy weird spam e-mail for “WonderCum” but the website was down. I just wanted to find out about it because the e-mail was freaking hilarious. Nice site btw!
Hi Jason, thanks for dropping by! Glad we added some amusement to your day.
Yeah, I got some wondercum spam, too.
What a product name.
I have to ask, are there people out there that aren’t getting their desired amount of, ahem, output?
Ah, it’s a Wondercum, I mean wonderful, world.
Hey Joe, welcome to The Cow.
Evidently the ‘desired’ amount of output for some folks is only enough if the quantity will put out a raging forest fire.
Viz.
I was searching on wondercum because I was spending an hour going through my spam filters trying to weed out false positives. I wondered to myself “what would turn up on google if I searched for this”.
The results are, as you might imagine, not that interesting.
Hey yort, thanks for droping by.
>>The results are, as you might imagine, not that interesting.
I think you neglected to add ‘except for this one’…
UMM DO YALL SALE THESE IN THA STORES
ha ha!