Fri 2 Jun 2006
What 25c Buys You
Posted by anaglyph under Spam Observations, Stupidity
[5] Comments
Spam Observations #25
My pal Bert wrote to me this morning opining that:
Life Should be Full of Luxuries….
And then:
Yes, only a handful of people can afford the finest products, the luxuries of the elite. But, here at “Luxury Replica” we are committed to bringing you the finest products, at prices incomparably lower.
Now Bert, you’ve come all unstuck in yer logic there, fella. The Oxford Dictionary defines a luxury as ‘an inessential, desirable item that is expensive or difficult to obtain’.
But you are saying that I must have these products and are promising to provide lots of them for cheap.
See where that all falls in a heap?
I want “Luxury Replica” kitsch. Do you think Bert has some, or would such a paradox? oxymoron? cause him to implode? I know, I don’t have my hopes up.
There are replicas that are definite luxury. I’m thinking clones. I would like a clone, but I can’t afford one. Not a clone of me, so much, but I can think of several women who would be suitable pod-fodder for me if I were a billionaire. I’ll have to talk to this Bob…
Bettr reboot th ol rational fackulty, Revrend.
Bert DID say that he was offrin em things at prices that are INCOMPARABLY lowr. Theyr LOWR, if ya DONT CMPARE em to th reggaler price.
Oviously, weer dealin wit Bert Russell here.
Yes, I did notice that egregious use of the word ‘incomparably’ but since Bert is rather vague on any point of comparison (or non-comparison) it’s anyone’s guess as to exactly what his deal is incomparable to. It’s a kind of recursive vortex.
I really don’t think a 25c brain can come up with anything that tricky.
I’m thinking it’s more likely to be Bert Russell, Kurt’s younger brother (the one who wasn’t smart enough to be an actor).
One kinda wishs them kinda brains also ran in th Baldwin famly.