In an attempt to exact revenge on all those tacky tourist traps throughout the world that have erected maquettes of the Eiffel Tower in order to ‘frenchify’ their businesses, Gallic architects are contemplating the construction of a replica of the Sydney Opera House beside the river at Gennevilliers, in the north-west of Paris.

I propose that they take this concept even further by declaring the area ‘Leetle Owstrellia’ and erecting an Outback Steakhouse, an Ettamogah Pub, and Leyland Brothers World II.

In my vision, rugged-but-handsome-stockmen would roam the precinct offering parched visitors a cold one, and sundrenched maidens would hand out lamingtons on every corner.

Only in this way will Paris ever come to know the true Australia.