WooWoo Beliefs – A TCA Educational Series: Episode #2

Another Loony

This is David Icke. He is a conspiracy theorist par excellence. David believes that some thousands of years ago, an alien civilization of humanoid reptiles came to our planet and colonized it, interbreeding with humans, yet craftily preserving a special lizardy bloodline that continues to this day. These ‘Reptilians’ have worked their way into positions of power and so rule our world, luckily being able to ‘shape-shift’ to human form at will in order to keep the hideous truth from the rest of us unsuspecting monkey-folk.

When they’re in private they supposedly revert to their scaly forms (undoubtedly with an exclamation of ‘Thank Mangar-kunjer-kunja! I couldn’t have stood another minute in that sweaty hairy jumpsuit!’) in which they presumably relax on a warm rock with a nice chilled glass of raw egg and a big bowl of crunchy flies.

I want you to pause and reflect for a moment. What I’ve just outlined is not some scenario for a B-Grade science fiction film* – this is a matter of actual fact as far as David Icke is concerned. And he has a labyrinthine website that is testament to his efforts to prove it. Be sure to put aside a couple of hours if you intend to visit it though, because it demonstrates about as much structural logic and coherence as David’s belief system.

One of the things you can find, if you have the tenacity, is a list of people who are really lizards. This includes: George Bush (plausible, I guess), Dick Cheney (obviously), Al Gore (look at the profile), Gordon Gecko (haha, just kiddin’) and the Queen of England and all her sons (that explains the blue blood). There is also a generous sprinkling of US politicians (of all political inclinations, lest you think Mr Icke is being partisan).

When people have suggested in David’s earshot that he might be, well, crazy, he is on record as saying ‘People would have said the same thing of Jesus’. Which of course instantly confirms his status as a loony since, as we know, comparing oneself to Jesus or Napoleon is Indicator #1 on the Bedlam Admittance Guide.

So, how, according to David Icke, are we to have any hope of ever determining who are the Lizard Overlords among us? ‘Just pray for God to reveal it to you,’ he says.

I rest my case.

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*Well, actually, it is, come to think of it.

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