Tue 11 Mar 2008
Simple Simon
Posted by anaglyph under Ephemera, In The News, Words
[12] Comments
One of the intriguing things about coming to live in a different country city is learning to converse in the manner of the locals. Now, English is a language of which I have a fairly good grasp but every now and then down here in Melbourne I hear or see something that completely floors me, such as the newspaper banner above. It was on display as I walked through Flinders St. Station in the city centre.
My brain made a sort of popping noise as I passed on down the stairs trying to make sense of it. Some kind of setback for the fastfood industry…? A cocaine racket financed by a pastry magnate…? A contest to win the Great Australian Meal with lungpower…?
I had to get a local to explain it to me.
I thought it might have been a creative initiative to combat hunger in the sex industry.
damn! JR beat me to it!
I imagined it was some kind of Melbourne initiative for breath testing.
Maybe for being really enthusiastic and puffing away in the little tube while they held out your reward after a big night.
Well you know my name is Simon, and the things I draw come true . . .
So how many pies did you get? And how chapped are your lips?
It’s not the crust that would get to me, it’s the filling.
I am afraid I envisioned fly-blown pies!
It’s not Jessica Simpson trying to satisfy her sweet tooth?
I should have guessed that the conversation would rapidly descend into the gutter.
Even now knowing what it means, I still cannot look at it without six different dirty meanings coming to mind. (And just now, I typed sex instead of six before I fixed it. Or fexed it. How Freudian is that?)
I am sorry, I still don’t understand what it really means!?!?!? Is it a sports team????
Yes, it’s a sports team.The Magpies.