Thu 14 Sep 2006
Pyu and Kyu
Posted by anaglyph under Bizarre, Words
[7] Comments
I’ve noticed a disconcerting thing in my local Post Office. The language used by the people behind the counter has devolved into some strange monosyllabic form of what was once English.
For instance, when you are standing in a queue waiting to be served, the manglish that indicates you should step forward is “Pyu?” (said with a sing-songy rising inflection). Then, when the transaction is finished, the signal that you should leave the counter is “Kyu!” with a high, slightly falling inflection.
What is perhaps most offputting is that everyone who works there seems to do this. Since the service is always glacially slow, it can’t be that they’re trying to save time or anything.
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They are probably under efficiency regulations. The bosses spent weeks in meeting wondering how they can shave 0.27 seconds off each transaction and losing a fwe syllables (particularly “can I hel-” and “than-” ) and with that also cut the staff salaries (since they are now, technically, doing less)
If I worked in a post office I think I would also lose all desire to communicate with other humans. Though I would probably degenerate entirely to grunting and rolling of the head stage, possibly with a slight but constant rocking as well.
from your Berlin correspondent: Having much need of the German Postal System while I am temporarily here (posting not only letters but many odd packets & parcels too), and speaking very little German, I have been shocked to my core at how patient, helpful, cheerful & downright efficient the Post Office workers are. Thanks for making me homesick, Rev.
Have you ever read Bukowski’s Post Office? It might clue you in as to why postal workers are such pleasant individuals.
My dear Reverend, haven’t you ever seen “Men In Black 2”? Why, these people are simply speaking their native language!
Another thing that I notice while standing in the queues watching the staff bring new heights to the art of inefficiency, is the poster that shows a bunch of pigeonholes stuffed with mailing tubes, wrapped parcels and other bulky objects and a smarmy postal guy standing by with a smug smile. The caption reads (defiantly) “There are some things you just can’t email!”
Every time I think “Not yet pal, not yet…”
Rrect!
Gree!