The Derwent Hunter

Shiver me timbers me lads! And serve me up another cup o’ grog!

I’m back from the High Seas, faithful Acowlytes, and what a mighty adventure it was. The sights I saw! The fearsome sea serpents I battled!

Violet Towne and I have been on a trip to the Whitsunday Islands in Northern Queensland, one of the most beautiful places on earth. Under any circumstances this would have been a wonderful thing to have done, but it was even more of a treat owing to the fact that I won the holiday in last year’s Australian Maritime Museum Christmas Raffle.

Specifically, the prize was three days sailing on the Tall Ship the Derwent Hunter, a striking two-masted vessel made in the 1940s from the finest Australian ship-building timbers available. I don’t want to make you too jealous, but basically, we spent three days on the deck of a beautiful wooden ship, sailing under clear blue skies by day and star-filled skies by night. We swam off beaches of powdery white silica sand and dived among fishes so colourful that they put the rainbow to shame.

Lest you think this all sounds a little too much like Paradise, let me return to the bit about the fearsome sea serpents. Consider the sign that we encountered on our arrival:

Hazardous Sea Creatures

I just want to point out that this BIG sign encompasses only jellyfish. It says nothing of sharks, stingrays, giant octopods or other ship-eating fishy things. But trust me, the jellyfish alone are enough to keep you in the cocktail bar.

Especially this one:

Irukandji Warning

You may have missed a salient point here, so I will reiterate it – Size: 12mm. Twelve millimeters. About half an inch. Also – ‘transparent jellyfish – usually never seen’.

Up until 1964 the main evidence that someone had come into contact with an Irukandji was their dead body washed up on the beach… But I exaggerate for effect; in actual fact, death from the Irukandji is rare even if the symptoms are dire: back pain, nausea, abdominal cramps, sweating, hypertension, tachycardia and a feeling of impending doom.

A feeling of impending doom. Oh boy, as symptoms go that really sounds like a barrel of laughs.

The Irukandji is dangerous and unpleasant, but only one of a dozen scary toxic creatures that inhabit these waters. It is one of Nature’s cruel ironies that the beautiful blue seas off the coast of Queensland are filled with some of the most dangerous creatures on the planet. When the mercury rises, it seems that being denied the respite of the cool azure sea is an almost certain proof of the non-existence of a benign God.

Only a total bastard would pull a trick like that.

Of course, such trivial measures would never stop a pirate.