Tue 5 Jun 2007
Money to Burn!
Posted by anaglyph under Hokum, Peter Popoff, Religion, Skeptical Thinking
[8] Comments
OH GOD IT NEVER STOPS!
Drown me in a butt of malmsey! Today, even MORE correspondence from Peter Popoff! This time another MILLION pages of mind-fogging writings and underlinings. And pictures of Prophet Pete. And promises of uncountable fortunes. And dire warnings. And prophecies. And stickers with leaves on them.
I will not bore you much further with any of this (unless he remembers to send me my “bag” of Dead Sea Salt – that’s surely worth a picture), except to say that scanning down the letter I notice that this time he is promising to have included money in this installment. Yes, MONEY!
Oh happy happy joy joy! MONEY! I search through the forest of foolscap pages and find:
That stuff in the little “bag” on the left is supposed to be the money. It is shredded. And according to the instructions I’m supposed to burn the money with the teeny candle and do something with the resulting ashes (oh, really WHO CARES…?)
If you look very closely you can see that the ‘money’ is really only printed on one side. Just like Peter Popoff, it’s fake.
On the Good News side, I now have THREE reply-paid envelopes. You can bet Prophet Pete is going to be hearing from me real soon.
Rev, I’m happy to donate as much of my genuine $US150 as you would like to have to send to Prophet Pop Off. Perhaps we can figure out how many shreds makes $17.
Okay I admit my ignorance: “butt of malmsey?”
See! It’s proof! PROOF! Profit Popoff TOLD you somebody would be giving you a package of money, and here it is!
Damn he’s good.
Also, I’m with spam jam on the whole butt of malmsey thing. I’d love to know what it means because I’d love to drop it into casual conversation on a regular basis.
That pic of the little plastic bag of green shreddy stuff and the candle from Profit Peter looks a lot like ‘paraphenalia’ as defined by the paranoids at the U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency.
If it’s really fake money, the US Secret Service would also be interested- presumably he’s using a photocopier to make the funny money he’s then shredding, which the guv’mint takes a very dim view of. In all seriousness, if those are US bills he’s copying to shred, Peter better be careful or they’ll slam his pecker in the pokey.
Are you sure you don’t put yourself on weird mailing lists for this crap?
Cissy Strutt: Your “bag” is certainly more impressive than the meagre offering PPP has sent in my “bag”. I bet it would burn better too.
Jam (& The Rest): According to William Shakespeare (Richard III, Act I, Sc IV), the King’s brother Clarence was murdered by being drowned in a barrel (or butt) of malmsey wine. This dramatic and poetic ending of Clarence’s life is, however, disputed as historical fact. Another notable Shakesperean alcoholic deceasement occurs when Romeo drops dead in Juliet’s
beerbier.Phoebe Fay: To be accurate, Peter Popoff is prophesying ‘untold wealth’ for me. An eighth of a shredded photocopied $1 note is not my idea of same.
Colonel: Hmmm. Good point. So maybe I should keep this ‘paraphernalia’ as ‘evidence’. I bet having your pecker slammed in the pokey really hurts.
Casey: Thanks to my thoughtful followers, I have no need to do so personally.
ahha ofcourse God’s blessings are not bought
God gives them to you
Hmm. A lot of people seem to think they can be bought. Like Peter Popoff.