Mon 11 Dec 2006
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Posted by anaglyph under Cow Matters, Spam Observations
[17] Comments
Spam Observations #37
Regular Cow readers will have noticed me waffling on about Akismet and except for those of you running blogs on WordPress it’s probably all Greek to you. So the Two Second Explanation is that Akismet is a WordPress plugin that hinders the hoardes of motherfucking scumbags naughty spammers who think it’s a great idea to fill up the lofty discussions on Cow comments with puerile cheapo advertising crap. My Akismet page is usually stuffed wall-to-wall with attempt after attempt of the most ineffective and irritating ‘pseudo’ posts that defy any kind of intelligence which can be scanned in seconds to be consigned to spam oblivion.*
This last week though, I’m detecting a disaffection in SpamLand. A wave of ennui, perhaps even melancholy. Here, let me show you:
And then:
It was bound to happen eventually. A few of these poor bastards have just had to face up to the trivial meaningless of their spamming existence. I give Agata and Onufry two weeks before the steel wheels of a commuter train start to look like an appealing option.
We can only hope that their cohorts follow suit.
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*They usually go something like this: Hey! Great blog. I totally agree with what you say! Buy cheap Spamadol here!!!
I mean, HOW IS THIS SUPPOSED TO WORK??? Do these nitwits think that my mental process will go: Hey! That guy really likes my blog. Fabtastic! I better go and buy some of his cheap Spamadol quick smart!!
WTF? I am totally afraid that these people actually ARE as stupid as they appear. And further, that they think everyone else is too. And further to that, that in some cases they’re right.
The Horror.
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Now I gess yer spposta think, “Hey! Cmpared to this guy, I got it pretty good! I think Ill celebrate wit some Spamadol!”
As for their pathetic spam lines, I think the idea is to improve their SEO ranking by having links from so many blog sites.
As an Akismet user I’ve noticed a sudden SPIKE in spam posts these last couple of days. Must be the Holiday Rush.
My favorite are the spam-libs.
Last week I got what I believe was a spammers’ template comment. The website and body links were for http://www.google.com, while the comment text was – I’m serious – “Hello World.”
I hope they sent seven billion of them. Also I hope they’re on (voodoo) pins and needles as they anxiously await those click-through payoffs.
Hi! Nice blog! Give your woman the replica that she wants! Cheap!
I totally agree with what you say!
“I left my wallet in the bathroom”
If *I* were going to leave a spam comment, I’d use a different approach. I’d simply–
*ahem*
Sorry. Not helpful, revealing that. But I think it’d work just the same.
RaJ:The ironic thing is that Akismet caught it and treated it like SPAM. The good Reverend had to “unspam” me.
“The Reverend Anaglyph – weddings, baby namings, unspammings” ?? Is that – Begone, Foul Spam, leave this body! the Power of the Cow compels you!
I thin my life over after read your post. All your melancholy are belong to us. Check out my truly sad cereal for make women love you. Didn’t work?
Forget it. No one love spammers, thusly.
I can understand why Onufry is so bored. He’s been trying to do missionary finish work with an for missionaries that won’t appreciate it. Either that or he needs to measure his Southwestern Man Jewelry in ten-thousandths of an inch. That would depress me, too.
Ha, sorry about that link
Agata: If you’re making a living from spamming your life is already over. I wish I could say I had sympathy for you.
Casey: I’m sure that all made sense. In a spam-has-no-logic kind of fashion.
A link for ya, Revrend.
Hmmm. Quite oddly, they seem to have attracted exactly NO spamments.
Perhaps it’s like the way graffiti artists don’t trespass on another’s turf.
Respeck! d00d!
I wonder are there some kind of blacklist is planned to be implemented in Akismet?
Spamadol: Hey, I like the name! As far as I know, Akismet does employ some kind of blacklist. There is certainly a mechanism for ‘marking’ spam and submitting it to Akismet to ‘learn’.