Sat 11 Jul 2009
Matthew 19:24
Posted by anaglyph under Hmmm..., Religion
[18] Comments
Matthew 19:24 – Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.
Today’s assignment: Discuss the inherent paradox in this offer from Christian Debt Trust.
Must you be so cross, Rabbi?
Oops, I think I just added fuel to the fire. Sorry about that.
A truly Christian outfit wouda offerd a free fattd calf along wit that first consultation.
Atlas: Ah. I miss the old days.
Joey: I’m guessing that the down payment could be steep too.
No more guilt or shame???
I guess the priests themselves can’t access the fund then (of course they’re the ones running it)?
The King
King Willy: The words ‘money-changers’ and ‘temple’ spring to mind…
Joey attemptd some aritmetick,
To figgr his bank-account balance.
His addin / subtracktin reveald right quick,
He hadnt th requisite talents.
Oh dear, hand in air again: um, wtf is the message of the parable of the Ten Talents? Greed is good? Bury in haste, repent at leisure?
Not to mention the parable of the Ten Virgins (hmmm, I wonder if I was a Wise Virgin or a Foolish Virgin – probably a question that keeps all women awake at night – Cissy? Myra?)
And what about this Parousia business? My brain hurts. Worrying about right angles was much easier.
Rev, I think we need more Parable Cow-exposition.
Or do we really need to dwell further on this shit?
I never thought I’d say it, but the Anal Ghost is far more entertaining.
The King
Wow, your so religious . . . when did you find Jesus in your heart?
Did I say Jesus? I meant Atlach-Nacha
Guilt Free and Credit/Debt do not belong together. That is truly making a deal with the devil. Had to be a catch there somewhere.
Maybe folks should just try not buying what they don’t have money for to start with. Maybe the church should teach that. I mean, don’t make a big deal of no sex before marriage? How about no big screen TV and XBox without cash?
When Jesus establishd his loansharkin gig,
He had but a handful o takers.
Offsettin th reasnableness o th vig,
Were archangels posed as legbreakers.
And lo, the Reverend came to a high place. And in that high place dwelt the Cow who was Tetherd. And the Cow spake unto him saying, You are as my most beloved. Go from this high place to the low places. And tell those that love me to laugh heartily at the Woo-woo. And speak also unto the Woo-woo. And tell them from me to stop talking shit.
Today’s reading is taken from Mooteronomy.
Pil: The Parable of the Talents teaches us simply that Jesus was a shill for the Capitalist system. The message here is plain – sustainability and living within your means is the work of Satan.
King Willy: We shalst dwell where we shalst dwell. I don’t think you should be worried that we’ve seen the last of the anal ghosts…
Malach: Religious is as religious does. I’m off to drink some altar wine.
MI: See my explanation of The Parable of the Talents, above. And, as indicated in the post, there is an inconsistency in philosophy here, if we take note of the words of Matthew – if it is easier to get into the Kindom of Heaven as a poor man, then why strive for prosperity (as promised by the Christian Debt Trust)? In God’s eyes, there is no advantage to being well off. Hypocrites.
Joey: Yeah, well, I guess Jesus’ people weren’t too thrilled about sustainability either.
Cissy Strutt: Thank you for that fine delivery of the Sunday Sermon. The Cow is pleased.
The massage is that you must rely on God for guidance in your path to being debt free because reliance on inferior guidance from your fellow man is fraught with peril. Only God knows the way. Those that God has entrusted with his ear are the only ones that can make you whole. WTF?
God has ears?
Yea. And he likes boxers better than briefs.