You may have heard of the unusual psychological disorder Jerusalem Syndrome, in which visitors to the Holy City somehow get swallowed up by the delusion that they are Jesus Christ, and dress and behave like him.

The untimely death of Steve Irwin* this week prompted me to wonder if there might be other kinds of syndromes attached to appropriate locations. Let’s start with:

Brisbane Syndrome. Sufferer dresses in khaki shirt and skimpy shorts, attempts to climb into estuaries and wrestle crocodiles, and says “Crikey!” a lot.

Chicago Syndrome. Sufferer dresses in double-breasted suit and fedora, eats spaghetti at most meals, threatens people with a machine gun and cheats on taxes a lot.

Stockholm Syndrome. Oh wait, there’s already one of those.

Wellington Syndrome. Sufferer dresses in loose floppy clothes, grows a bushy beard and is overweight and unkempt. Carries around a viewfinder and mutters phrases such as “More orcs!” and “Come to me, my precious”. Can often be found in cinemas.

Deadwood Syndrome. Sufferer dresses in shabby Wild West attire and/or stained and unwashed long-johns, drinks copious quantities of rye whisky, and liberally peppers conversations with words such as “fuck”, “cocksucker” and “pussy”.

Nottingham Syndrome. Sufferer dresses in Lincoln green, wears a cocky hat with a feather, mugs tourists but gives the money to buskers and attempts to inveigle passers-by to “Joine my Merrye Bande”.

Westminster Syndrome. Sufferer dresses in twinset and pearls, casts eyes downward under a floppy fringe and protests often “I am not bulimic”. Is very thin.

I’m sure there are many more. Over to you.
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*As tragic as this was, at least the guy got to die quickly and doing something he loved. Oh that any of us should be so lucky. I feel I am obliged to point out that he was dealing with dangerous animals and so he must always have been aware of the risk. He who lives by the swordfish… (yeah, yeah, I know it was a stingray, but I could wait forever for someone to be killed by a swordfish).