Sat 10 Jun 2006
I Heart You Guys! Mwa! XOXOX
Posted by anaglyph under Cow Matters, Religion, Sister Veronica
[14] Comments
It has come to my attention that my readership numbers might be handicapped owing to the fact that I am not a cute twenty-year-old chicky-babe with a MySpace profile and nothing to say.
Now this may appear to be something of an obstacle for a forty-eight-year-old bloke who likes to shoot the breeze about the big topics like religion, science, net politics and accurate spelling, but as the Reverend of The Church of the Tetherd Cow I am ever-mindful that The Cow moves in mysterious ways.
Indeed, even as I was despairing that I may never see the likes of three or four hundred MySpace friends filling my life with inane platitudes and incomprehensible teenspeak, there was a knocking at the cloister door, and a destitute creature with no worldly possessions other than the clothes on her back stumbled in from the driving rain. As I towelled the poor wretch dry in front of the abbey fireplace, I knew that the solution to my increasingly barren Comment pages had been sent to me via a Divine Miracle.
So, faithful Acowlytes, let me introduce to you Sister Veronica* who will be popping by from time to time in order to help me make an unashamed grab for increased visitor numbers.
You can even write to her, for advice on personal matters or astrology, a field in which she tells me she is an expert.
___________________________________________________________________________
*Sister Veronica’s likeness appears courtesy of Scumbag Russian Spammersâ„¢ and Photoshop
14 Responses to “ I Heart You Guys! Mwa! XOXOX ”
Trackbacks & Pingbacks:
-
[…] Anaglyph at Tetherd Cow has a new assistant, Sister Veronica. While I’ve always strived for the highest levels of excellence, I can’t argue with perfect logic. I think I may be losing both my regular readers to this new paradigm of blogging. […]
-
[…] Sister Veronica has some kooky idea that we need to start getting the barn ready for the Christmas Nativity Scene. […]
She looks more Irish to me than Russian, something about the cheekbones… Astrology, hm. Could be worth just firing off a quick question or two on the subject just to see what sort of answers I’d get back. (Nice Photoshoppin’ there, Rev…)
Wow. Just… wow.
*thinks about replacing Dr. Enstine*
*remembers giving DNA sample to possibly vengeful mad scientist*
*stops thinking*
Oh, you mean this Sister Veronica? She turned me down as a friend and called me “icky”.
Whore.
http://www.myspace.com/84360642
Yer sister jus gimme a heart-on, Revrend. Make her bhave. Make her stay on all fours.
Nice one Vox. I bet with a few bogus posts and some stupid video and music downloads we could build a Sister Veronica Fan Network. It would be easy. Just save up all the stupid emails you get from work, friends, family, and spam – change the names to silly nick names and post them as stories. Oh, and don’t forget the chain mails about prayers, cola conspiricies and creapy coincidences.
OMG!!!! LOL LOL LOL! RFLMAO!!!!
I’m soooo adding the sister to my friends list!
Dang. I’ll have to find some cheap slut for my site, just so I can keep up.
Anne Arkham: Tut. Sister Veronica doesn’t appreciate being referred to as ‘some cheap slut’.
I’ll have you know that she is a pure-as-the-driven-snow nun, as surely as I am a Reverend.
Ninah Pixie: Russian/Irish – all good religious ethnicity. She’s got the credentials alright.
RaJ: Yeah, you have to pick yer sidekicks. Sister Veronica keeps asking for my DNA. Or something like that.
archshrk: But Sister Veronica is real. I’m not sure what you’re getting at there. Just make stuff up on MySpace? Who would do such a heinous thing?
Joey: You want I should call you next time it rains? You can be towel boy.
Katie: Tell all your friends to add them to their lists too! Sister Veronica might even start some horoscope readings…
Up Whoroscope!
Maybe she can assist you with serial comma usage as well.
I think perhaps the religion of the Tethered Cow might be served well by tethering the Pure-As-Snow-White-Sister-Veronica…
People are into having that kind of person tethered, especially if you offer pictures…
You might become a millionaire….