Mon 5 Jan 2009
I Am Relaxed Now
Posted by anaglyph under Creepy, Robots
[19] Comments
At last! The Age of Robots has arrived! As we stride into 2009, Canadian roboticist Trung Le unveils Aiko, the anatomically correct fembot* with which he hopes to take the world by storm.
Le boasts that Aiko can greet, shake hands, read out loud, perform mathematical calculations and give the weather forecast, accomplishments one could not fail to find useful in an anatomically correct companion. I urge you to go here and watch a demonstration video of Aiko in action (no Polanski & Atlas, not that kind of action).
The picture to the right shows Le examining Aiko for anatomical correctness. Seriously!
“I do not like it when you touch my breasts,” Aiko responds rather petulantly, as she spastically swats in the general direction of Le like a debutante paralytic on Blackberry Nip. This is disturbing on so many levels, not the least of which is that Le has referred to Aiko elsewhere as his ‘daughter’. Aiko’s general demeanour is also rather unsettling, making public appearances as she does in a wheelchair, with one hand bandaged in a black mitten, and the other flapping around disconcertingly like a rubber glove filled with jelly. I offer up my usual observation regarding robots: what Aiko lacks in the reality stakes she more than makes up for in creepy factor. I would cast Aiko in a horror movie in a flash (Ring IV, maybe, where Samara returns to inhabit the boneless body of a monotonally speaking crippled Japanese Michael Jackson fan with Tourette’s).
And while Aiko may be considered by some to be the pinnacle of anatomical correctness, her language skills could use a little work: “Why did you do that for?” she asks, when Le gives her a Chinese burn (you think I’m making this up don’t you?). I hope her weather forecasts are more accurate than her grammar.
Meanwhile, in China (home of all kinds of sensational technical breakthroughs), DIY roboticists Wang Wenrong and Wu Yulu are building ‘an army’ of home-made robots for purposes unspecified. Given that the mechanical marvels are said to be able to serve drinks, light cigarettes, bow, weave, sing, play musical instruments and scale walls, we can only speculate about what these Chinese tinkerers have in mind for their militia of automaton stormtroopers. And when we learn that some of them are being fashioned in the likeness of Hillary Clinton (see the anatomically-correct spitting image at left, having her uterus adjusted by Wang Wenrong), well, we can’t help but feel a little uneasy.
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*I don’t know about you, but for me the use of the term ‘anatomically correct’ in the context of female mannequins (robotic aspirations aside) just sounds like a euphemism for ‘sex doll’.
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19 Responses to “ I Am Relaxed Now ”
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The programming reflects the programmer methinks…
Poor bastard!
I’m sure that black-mitted hand contains an attachment for fitting third party devices. A certain Russian/Chinese product comes to mind.
As for Hilary, why Oh why would you choose her anyway?
Bring back Electro and Sparko anytime!
http://www.computerhistory.org/collections/accession/102693536
The King
BUT CAN I HAVE SEX WITH IT?
King Willy: Electro and Sparko! Now there were some proper robots for ya!
Malach: How unpredictable of you, of all people, to say that.
Is her grammar anatomickly correckt too?
Did you mean grammar or granma?
Robots are sooooo sexy if you’re Astroboy!
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=PzRQvDFSVlc&feature=related
The King
No.
I wanna know if she knows howta talk drty.
I wanna know if she can talk with her mouth full.
Joey: Oh – I wondered if you were maybe interested in her granma talking dirty…
Atlas: She can hardly talk with her mouth empty.
Likeness of Hillary? No…more like Chelsea, her daughter. And why are they are anatomically correct women? Where are the male units….or is there simply no market for more of the same thing?
Just seems a lot easier to just do things yourself than walk around with a can of WD40 all the time fixing your tin man/woman.
Evry granma can talk drty.
Take her teef out and shes bound t say SOMPM thatd pass fer X-ratd.
Robots can do dirty as well it seems…
http://tinyurl.com/8k65re
The King
I’d also say that ‘Wang Wenrong’ is an appropriate name for that guy if that’s his idea of beauty!
The King
Not sure you’d want to fuck with this guy…
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=NzdU5D4z1KI&feature=related
The King
King Willy: Just a tip – it’s a good idea to use TinyURL or Snurl if posting really long URLs. As a rule, WP will pretty much always intercept them as spam. Aside from that, page long URLs are so frakkin’ ugly, and almost invariably get parsed incorrectly if churned through other formatting code (the infamous %20/ phenomenon).
As for HRP-3 Promet Mark II, well, as long as it’s not in my bar fiddling with my cocktail cabinet, I don’t care what it’s doing (that’s a variation of Mrs Patrick Campbell’s famous quote, in case you didn’t pick it).
It seems Glitchy is none too impressed by robots either.
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=ExAfBbOFw3w&feature=related
The King
Oh, and Titan 2? That’s a guy in a suit. If robots could actually do that kind of thing, then I’d be a lot more impressed. This is more your actual state-of-the-art in robotic dexterity.
And Glitch wouldn’t have just toyed with that robot cat – he would’ve eaten it…