Thu 16 Apr 2009
Good News! It’s not Cancer, it’s a TREE!
Posted by anaglyph under Bizarre, In The News
[18] Comments
According to Russian newspaper Komsomolskaya Gazeta, doctors operating on a 28 year-old Artyom Sidorkin for diagnosed lung cancer were astonished to find, instead of the expected tumour, a living fir tree. Mr Sidorkin had been experiencing strong pain and coughing up blood, and xrays showed a growth consistent with a lung cancer diagnosis. The tree was successfully removed.
They have now sent the patient home, advising him not to smoke through the summer months due to a further possible risk of forest fires.
You know how in the old days, when they used to remove someone’s appendix, they they would let them take it home in a jar? I hope they let Mr Sidorkin take the tree home in a pot.
I had a holly tree growing in my stomach.
They thought it was an ulcer. This is why I DON’T trust the medical community. They don’t know shit.
Just as long as th doc didnt remove th guys acorns.
Ya nevr know what them zany Russians might do wit them.
Wow . . .
Yea, you wouldn’t believe what they found in Joey’s lung and let HIM take home in a jar.
MI: Did you get to keep it?
Joey & Atlas: You guys spend WAY too much time together.
O little fir tree
growing in my lung,
All the breaths we’ve taken
All the songs we’ve sung.
Now we are asunder
Don’t think you’ll be forgot
I’ll put you on my windowsill
Growing in a pot.
And please do not put my poeting to mock
because I did not once mention Rasputin’s gigantic cock.
Th docktr then stated, “Well, SOME news is good;
But othr news sure will annoy ya:
I took from yer lung a sprig o pinewood,
And took from yer pants a sequoia.”
Viridian pointed out today that they shouldn’t have touched the tree – the guy had a perfectly self-contained breathing system going: the tree absorbs the guy’s CO2 and makes oxygen, which he uses and excretes CO2 for the tree… He coulda been the new Man from Atlanski!
(Then again – Viridian is currently in the bathroom screeching ‘Cinderella!!!’ in an Ugly Stepsister voice, so her sanity is in question).
Fir enough Rev, you’ve cheered me up.
I’m sure that’s what they’ll find in my lungs too!
The King
Yes! I planted it in the yard, it’s over 15 feet tall now.
King Willy: They’ll probably find a tomato plant in your lungs.
MI: Now, you’re pulling my leg…
There is no fooling you, is there?
Patient: “what do you think doctor?”
Doctor:”I’m afraid you will need a second opineion”
Boom Tish
MI: Oh, I dunno. A picture of some nondescript holly tree might have done it…
hewhohears: Groan.
Not sure that xray picture is real though or whether the age is inaccurate as that is the image of someone who’s bones are still growing.
See the lines at the top of the humerus.
My guess is the person is aged 14 to 16.
Yeah, thanks ‘Mark’. Go advertise your car insurance somewhere else.