Mon 1 Jan 2007
God Creates Man in His Own Image – Take 2
Posted by anaglyph under God Creates..., Rasputin
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- Monday, Jan 1st, 2007 at 11:41 pm
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I aint realy in that image o God neithr.
But I am still pointin up …
Oh, yeah … I can tell you was askin for it.
In grand days of old — and in Russia, Im told —
Livd a man whom too few now remembr.
But as histry has shown, he was then quite well-known,
Fer th notable length of his membr.
—–
Th truth of th claim led to posthumous fame,
Which in turn led to this odd report:
“If you dug up Rasputin, a moments computin,
Woud show that hes one membr short.”
For many years, they’ve been displayed
Within a glassy case
St. Petersburg in Russia
Is their final resting place
The penis and the testes
Of Rasputin, the “Mad Monkâ€
Turned green and have fermented
But at least they haven’t shrunk
CH2O is what’s been used
In the jar in which they’ve floated
The keep Rasputin’s jolly bits
Enlarged and rather bloated
(feel free to delete my double post, but I feel as though I need to keep my poem with Polanski’s.)
This makes me wonder about Adam & Eve’s hair color. And eyes. Why is that?
Paris landed here to promote beer
in the jolly month of December
But the Bondi Blonde found our lads too fond
and longed for Rasputin’s member
bugger … lost a foot … should have been “to promote some beer”
In Genesis 1, you recall,
Was a man wif his woman, pre-Fall.
He was made from th sod,
In th image of God,
Which means his made Rasputins look small.
reminds me of Star Wartz a bit
And the Babylonians came to her into the bed of love, and they defiled her with their whoredom, and she was polluted with them, and her mind was alienated from them.
this is like… oh… great Christmas message.
Happy New Year Rev!
He’s weirding me out too, but not as much as the Rasputin Poetry Contest. Happy New Year Rev :)
Every year I sit and wait
Until the end of December
So me and Joey can show our skills
writin’ poems about Rasputin’s member.
So many Hiltons’, that would be heaven!
That Paris is th fairest,
Lets test it, as it were.
Her naked ass against th glass,
Shoud make Rasputin stir.
The blond headed Hilton named Paris
I’m afraid can’t be said is the fairest
Her antics unsightly
She’s no Keira Knightley
Rasputin would just be embarrassed.
HAHAHAHAHA!
‘Rasputin’ is a funny name,
And Ive discoverd why.
Its come to mean a fuckin dick,
And not a fuckin guy.
Rasputin’s surely got my pity
On this there’s no debating
To lose one’s penis? That’s just shitty!
For Rasputin, no more masturbating.
OK. I’ve started laughing at the poems which is surely not a sign of a sound mind. I am also pleased to see that jedimacfan has taken note of my Limerick post and produced, at last, a properly constructed one (even if the rhyme is a little dodgy).
Ah. It’s good to know I have performed one small useful deed for humanity.
*WHEWWWwww*
In my 18 munts in th blogassfear, I aint NEVR had that much funski! I was clickin on th Cow like I ownd stock in th friggin thing!
Thanks, Rev — fer not ringin th bell too erly.
Oh, yeah … Happy New Year, too!
(P.S. High-fives to Cissy Strutt & JediMacFan!)
Oh man, this contest gets more and more difficult each year. Maybe for Round Three we’ll have more contenders. Until then, congrats to this years participants and drinks all around!