Sat 17 Mar 2007
Hedged Bet
Posted by anaglyph under Signs, Technology
[6] Comments
Being a responsible modern citizen concerned with saving energy I found myself stocking up on fluorescent light bulbs to replace all my incandescent ones. The big selling point on these things (aside from their Green credentials) is their longevity and… waiddaminute… what does that say…? A big 3 YEARS LIFE! but a wimpy 1 Year Guarantee!!!
Sheesh. Some advertising wonk has pulled a pretty big rabbit outta a pretty small hat for that one.
If you take it to mean "We guarantee it to last for 1 year, but it might last for 3!", then why did they not go for broke and say, oh, 10 years life. Or 20 years life? C’mon Mr Osram – what have you possibly got to lose?
If there’s one thing I hate it’s mediocrity in hyperbole.
Ok, I feel ashamed to know this:
The flourescent light bulbs on the market now can only be said to theoretically last for three years as they have not been around long enough for the law of large numbers to come back reliably on their three year life. Physical models say that they will still be able to impede enough amps in the correct fashion in three years to light up a room, however, they have only been lab tested for one year and too few customers have bought them to know for sure.
Anyway sir, if you need anything else in Dept. 27 let me know. Could I interest you in a new light fixture, 2X4, or credit card?
Turns out my life has an asterisk next to it, too.
Evn werse, I kinda suspeckt that when that advertizin wonk came up wit his brillyant idea, th light bulb that went on was a reggalr ol incandescent one.
We changed all of ours probably 6 years ago. Some are still going…some we have had to replace. Our power bill did go down though.
But that is quite the guarantee. I bet it is prorated too!!
Casey: Don’t be ashamed! Delight in the knowledge that Home Depot has performed one useful function in its existence! What kind of deal can you get me on the credit card?
Jam: I hope mine is going to be 3 times longer than its current rating!
Joey: Of that I have no doubt.
Sirdar: 6 years! You’re sending Mr Osram to the wall!
You’ve neglected an important part of that packaging. What the hell is a “minitwist”? Is it a twist or not? How does one measure the size of a twist? How is it different from the “maxitwist”? I’m very confused.