Tetherd Cow Ahead

This week is, apparently, World Homeopathy Awareness Week ((… as I discovered over at Cubiks Rube. Thanks writerJames)) so I’m performing my skeptical duty by making you aware of it (wow – even just thinking about homeopathy has made me feel better this morning!)

In the past I have been harsh on homeopathy so in honour of WHAW I’m going to allow some equal time for its proponents. It’s the least I can do. Let me present for you Dr Charlene Werner (a doctor of homeopathy, I presume), who will, using her own words, guide you through the science behind how homeopathy works:

Did you stick it out to the end, or did your laughing fit cause you to hyperventilate like I did? I had to take a whole bottle of homeopathic sedatives to calm me down.

To recap what we have learned from Dr Werner:

• The total mass of the universe is about the same as something the size of a bowling ball (ie, virtually none at all), and is not the 8 × 10⁵² kg ((Just in case you’re not good with numerical powers, the language description of that would be ‘AN AMOUNT SO FUCKING HUGE THAT YOU CAN’T EVEN IMAGINE IT’)) generally accepted by physicists. ((Estimation based on measured stellar density. There is, as always, dispute on the accuracy of this figure, but I think we can safely say that it’s nearer ‘A FUCKING HUGE AMOUNT’ than it is near Dr Werner’s preferred quantity of ‘none’))

• Einstein’s famous mass/energy equivalence formula is wrong and it should read E=C². Many of you will see at once that this is in conflict with the ShooTag reworking of it as E=M¾ and so Dr Werner is possibly in error here.

• Stephen Hawkings was ‘sent to Earth by God in His Infinite Wisdom to bring us String Theory.’ This is evidently a different person to Stephen Hawking, the great physicist and cosmologist, who was born naturally of human parents, and, although a proponent of String Theory, can take no credit for its genesis.

• This supernatural Stephen Hawkings dude also discovered a new kind of particle shaped like ‘little U-ies’ that ‘work by vibration’ (no I don’t know what the hell she’s on about either).

• E=MC² is an expression of Einstein’s Theory of Relativity.

• Protons, electrons and neutrons, despite all scientific knowledge to the contrary, are made of energy and not matter.

• The ‘definition’ of disease is ‘Transforming your energy into something different’ and has nothing to do with a pathogenic biological process as is generally thought.

• If your neighbour’s dog craps on your lawn, the best way to deal with the matter is to bomb his house. ((Did anyone else start to wonder at this point whether this woman has some serious issues…?))

So there we have it. I hope your awareness of homeopathy is suitably heightened. During the next few days we will be celebrating further illuminating homeopathic moments.

Your health!

The capacity for stupid people to part with huge amounts of cash on schemes concocted by morally bankrupt swindlers never ceases to amaze me. It’s as if there’s a reservoir of schmucks out there who are just busting to empty their bank accounts into the pockets of criminals. Here on The Cow this is very familiar territory. Over the years we’ve seen the duplicitous Shoo!TAG™ scammers bilking all and sundry with their nutso pest repellent scheme; the smarmy Steorn with their ‘free energy’ shell game (a scam that’s centuries old in one form or another); the Space Diamond fraudsters who promise untold wealth via implausible interstellar retrieval schemes. And the list goes on.

Sometimes I like to play this game in my head where I make up the weirdest scheme I can imagine and speculate on whether people would pay money for it. For instance, I’ll look out my window and see something like, oh, let’s see – bird shit – and then make it the centre of some daft scam. I’ll imagine, for instance, that there’s some place that offers to rub bird shit on your face for money. Maybe I’ll even elaborate on it a bit to make it even more implausible – maybe it’s not just bird shit they’re offering to smoosh all over your dial but, oh, let’s see something really off the wall… I’ve got it! Nightingale shit!

Hahahaha! No-one would believe that in a BILLION years. No-one on the PLANET is dumb enough to fork out for that.

Hahhahahahahahaha!

WRONG!

T-shirt available now in Cow Threads!

Acowlytes! I stand before you a stunned and humbled man. I wouldn’t have thought it possible, but on visiting the Steorn website this morning I was presented with incontrovertible proof that their Orbo engine is about to revolutionize the world! Never before have I seen evidence of an extraordinary claim laid out so compellingly, or been swayed by a concept so utterly mind-blowing!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Hands up who believed me for even a second?

Nope. No hands there.

The images above are from Steorn’s much hyped video ‘Proving Overunity’, today posted on their site for all to see. The audience in the bottom snap is watching in awe disbelief as Steorn CEO Sean McCarthy trots out exactly the same old guff that has already been up on the Steorn site for ages. This is the sum total of the PROOF that Steorn promised the world, that their machine would be shown creating more energy than it consumes.

Needless to say both myself and the folks above were comprehensively underwhelmed. We watched as Mr McCarthy, in finest waffling form, yakked on and on about the Orbo motor’s wondrous abilities as he poked periodically at gauges and meters. As in the other ‘explanatory’ videos on the Steorn site, he seems particularly hung up on making us aware that Orbo has no ‘back EMF’ – really, it does not matter one whit about such electrical engineering-speak if the machine is able to show a 200% increase in energy output as has been claimed. The tedious ‘technical’ talk is there to cover up the fact that what Steorn actually needs to demonstrate is mind-bogglingly simple. In fact, it is as simple as 1+1=2. I can outline it to you in a paragraph:

Imagine feeding the Orbo 1 watt of power. According to McCarthy, the miraculous technology behind Orbo can take that 1 watt and use it to generate 2 watts. Are you with me? Now, this is all that needs to be done to show a miracle: take the output of the Orbo and divert 1 watt of that power back into the Orbo’s input. Now the motor is powering itself and you have 1 spare watt ((Actually, if you believe Sean McCarthy, 1 watt is small potatoes – there is NO LIMIT to how much extra power you can get…)) of energy with which to do anything you damn well please. Let us, for example, hook up some LEDs to this extra power (a single LED typically uses way less than what we have at our disposal). What we now have is the Orbo motor, running itself and powering some lights with no other external source of power! THIS would be a truly astonishing and unequivocal verification of Steorn’s claims. No-one could argue with such a direct experiment. In his circumlocutious descriptions of the Orbo technology McCarthy himself has said that such a feat is feasible. ((“We’re recharging batteries and you will see… we’ll be lighting lights and all that kinda stuff later on…))

That’s all that has to be demonstrated. But really, they can’t show anything like that because it can’t be done. Instead, in the manner of every perpetual motion swindler throughout history, Mr McCarthy ((Actually, Maybe Sean McCarthy is a personified demonstration of overunity – he certainly seems to run perpetually on excess amounts of his own self-generated hot air.)) is obliged to obfuscate and complicate with abstruse methodology and meandering reasoning. ((You will have seen this behaviour in just about every snake-oil salesman we’ve had cause to examine here on The Cow. The ShooTAG! scammers do the very same thing))

So after all that, let’s see how Steorn is doing on the Tetherd Cow Ahead Interest-O-Meter…

Enough said. We won’t be mentioning Steorn again here on Tetherd Cow unless they do something a lot less monotonous.

Visiting Steorn is like stepping momentarily into another dimension – one with leprechauns and rainbows and pots of gold. As you will recall from yesterday, today was the day when their video showing final proof of their Orbo motor demonstrating overunity was to be posted for all the world to see.

Well, I wearily dragged myself over to their digs for what I expected to be another round of disappointment and I wasn’t disappointed. That is, I was not disappointed to see that they were happy to disappoint me again. Instead of the world-shattering demonstration that was promised, I was greeted with a new-look website, further exhortations to join up with the Steorn Knowledge Development Base (for a fee, surprise surprise), and the above announcement:

(The) Proving Overunity video will be published on Ist Feb.

It strikes me that we’re getting pretty close to April Fool’s Day.

Vultures in South Africa are under threat of extinction because gamblers are willing to pay a premium to smoke their dried brains. According to The Guardian, the practice is believed to bestow good luck on the smoker.

What a stupid, superstitious, unscientific idea, eh? It’s like they’ve never even heard of homeopathy, or chiropractic, or harmonic acupuncture! How primitive!

Vulture Brains Filter, anyone?