Tetherd Cow Ahead

The Waste Baskets of Vietnam.

Be sure to click for bigger versions. You can only be further impressed. Number 3 is particularly interesting in that one of its offered features is that it is comfortable.

I ask you to reflect on what might find a waste basket ‘comfortable’ for we shall have cause to ruminate a little more on such things in due course.

Well Cow fans, The Cow and I have journeyed far, seen extraordinary sights, made wonderful friends and had many laughs along the way. Sadly, such travels inevitably turn back toward home, where I now find myself, huddled inside the cloister while the wind howls outside and the rain buckets down.

It’s a far cry from the heat and the swelter of the last two weeks.

As I suspected I wasn’t able to report to you too regularly while I was travelling, but I have accumulated a veritable milk-pail full of great stories, so I hope you don’t mind if we stay restrospectively in Vietnam over the next little while.

There is fun aplenty still to come.

This is the remote control for the air conditioner in a cabin on a cruise junk at Vietnam’s beautiful Halong Bay. Please to take notice of the only English word to appear on this unit.

It explains a lot.

Last night one of the Quang Ngai orphanage volunteers threw a party for her English students at the volunteer household. It was a Western style party with beer & nibbles and an almost unbelievable spread of Vietnamese food. It was also a theme party and the theme was ‘Everyone Speaks English’. I felt sure I’d be able to handle that, even after the inevitable copious imbibation (! Did I say English?) of the ubiquitous ‘333’ beer.

At the party I met the delightful Mr Viet, Director of The Fund for Children of Quang Ngai Province, and his wife Khanh, who generously invited a few of us to tour his two rehabilitation centres just west of Quang Ngai city and see the work they were doing there for underprivileged and disabled children. I won’t dwell on the harrowing aspect of this trip – it is sufficient to say that Mr Viet and his volunteers are doing amazing things for their community and the people of Vietnam are very lucky to have such committed, hardworking and canny people.

After our tour, Mr & Mrs Viet took us to lunch at My Khe beach, a stretch of white sand and warm blue water that rivals the best Pacific Resorts for beauty, and which sports a bunch of funky shaded restaurants that surpass pretty much anywhere for food.

After the enormous meal (how the hell do these people stay so thin?) of clams, monstrous prawns (Americans: there is NO way these things can qualify as shrimp), banh xeo and fish soup, the talk naturally turned to the eating of dog. Mr Viet asked if I had ever tried dog meat, and I confessed I had not. Mr Viet is a very big fan of dog meat. He assured me it is the best food one could find in Vietnam, and invited me to dine with him the next time I was here, on the most superior dog cuisine I would ever eat. I said I would be honoured to join him. We talked further of eating dog, then snake (very popular dishes in Vietnam), horse (which would possibly be popular if there were more horses) and cat (which is also eaten, but not so much).

On the way back in the car I said to Nurse Myra, “Y’know, I have no in principle problem with eating dog. I mean, I feel I can’t object really, without being hypocritical – I eat pretty much anything else”.

We drove on for a few minutes.

“What about cat?” she asked, with her typically evil insight.

We drove on for a further few minutes.

I wondered idly if Glitch would taste better with rice or noodles.

This is how it works:

Nurse Myra is scheduled to do English lessons on Monday night. Tonight, there is some question as to whether the classes are on.

The interpreters are Mr Thinh and Miss Linh.

On quizzing Mr Thinh early in the day, yes, the classes are definitely on. Later Miss Linh says that Mr Thinh has said that the classes are not on any longer. On talking further with Miss Linh, however, it seems that she is not really sure if the classes are on. Or in fact, if Mr Thinh actually said the classes are not on. Mr Thinh, on the telephone, says that the classes are on.

We think.

Later, we see Miss Linh, who says that the classes are not on. Is she sure?

Yes, she is sure.

That the classes are not on?

No.

That they’re on?

Yes.

She’s sure they’re on?

No.

Are the classes on?

Yes, Mr Thinh says the classes are not on.

On the telephone, Mr Thinh says the classes are on.

Definitely?

Yes.

We think.

So we walk around to the classrooms. It looks deserted. The gates are closed and padlocked. But there are lights on inside. Nurse Myra reaches through and is able to undo one padlock. We open the gate and walk inside.

From somewhere two guard dogs appear, snarling and barking.

Definitely not on.

This framed poster, on a wall at the Xinh Moi. Look carefully at the legend above the girl’s knee…

I have momentary wi-fi. Nurse Myra has treated me to a couple of hours at the wonderful Victoria Hotel in Hoi An. Pool, cocktails, wi-fi. Sigh.

I’d like to write more guys, really I would. But I can see the pool from where I’m sitting, and well, you know I love yez all, but… oh, is that the time?