Tetherd Cow Ahead

Violet Towne made me this ultra-geek-chic pin for my birthday.

For reasons I’m not at liberty to disclose just yet, I ventured today into the depths of my storage unit to retrieve my beautiful Big Briar Model 91C Theremin. I thought you’d all like to see it.

You can read about how I came by this beautiful instrument here.

And for Atlas, a sample of my less-than-perfect technique:

GEEK ALERT!: Another camera mod that will probably have minimal interest for most of you, but I’m posting it up because I think it’s cool, and because I think you need to know.

The other day I happened to be listening to a podcast that mentioned in passing that over-exposed, processed colour negative film is mostly opaque to all visible light, but readily transmits infrared. The over-exposed bit of the neg looks ‘black’ on the neg strip. It’s actually a very deep blue to the naked eye if you hold it up to a strong light:

Translating: the ‘blue’ bit in the negative above allows infrared light to pass through. “Well, what the hell use is that, Rev!” I can hear you say. “Our eyes can’t see into the infrared!”

Aha! Your eyes can’t, Faithful Acowlyte, but maybe your digital camera can… To check, find a TV remote and press any button on it while pointing it at the camera lens. If the display allows you to see a light blinking on the end of the remote, then the camera’s chip sees infrared. This means (I can see you’re ahead of me now) that you can record infrared images!

Why would you want to do that? Because it’s pretty and mysterious! Isn’t that reason aplenty!? Just clip a piece of the end of an old neg, tape it over your camera lens and Bob’s yer uncle! The film knocks the exposure way down so for best results, set your camera ISO on its lowest setting and use a tripod and a longer exposure. If your camera is a Canon point-and-shoot, you may be able to hack the firmware to get exposure times of up to sixty seconds.

Now, for some striking results, go photograph some vegetation. Here’s a lily in my backyard. The leaves are actually a deep rich green, but because plants reflect so much infrared light (they can’t use it for photosynthesis) their foliage appears red, and sometimes even almost white.

Now. How to record ultraviolet…?

Cow Cool Rating: ☆☆☆☆☆

*WARNING: This is a geeky tech post. If things such as hacking devices to make them more fun don’t interest you, you should go have a coffee and a donut.

A recent article over at Lifehacker* explains how you can hack your digital point-and-shoot camera via software and turn it into a ‘super-camera’. The hack requires that you own a Canon camera and have some (fairly basic) computer skills, but it is on the whole pretty damn easy.

I have a Canon IXUS55 and it’s a great little camera. Most of the images that I’ve shot specially for The Cow have been recorded with it. It’s pretty darn versatile, but now I can can do a multitude of things that were previously not possible with it, and yet, bizarrely enough, are still functions contained within the camera’s operating parameters.

One thing that has always bugged me about my IXUS is that there is no battery life indicator. Well, with the Canon Developer’s Hardware Kit (CHDK) firmware installed, I get my wish, plus a host of other neato functions. For instance, I can now override the shutter speed of the camera, allowing me to take exposures of up to 60 seconds in length. Or, if I am inclined, go the other way and fire the shutter at faster than 1/10,000th of a second. As another feature, the CHDK also allows me to save my images as RAW (that is, uncompressed) image files, something that is usually the domain of professional gear (most point-and-shoots compress the images to jpg, which means you lose some of your potentially useful exposure data).

With the addition of some executable software scripts, I can also turn my little Canon into a motion-sensing camera (ie, movement will trip the shutter), an intervalometer (to allow automatic ‘time-lapse’) and rig it to record lightning flashes. There are a number of other very useful scripts written by users, and the database is increasing all the time.

I’ve only just started playing with it, so nothing especially great to show you right now (I quickly snapped the image above just for fun), but next week I’m intending to give it a good workout so stay tuned!

Cow Cool Rating: ☆☆☆☆☆

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*I highly recommend that you check Lifehacker out. It’s not just geeky electro/computer/software stuff and I guarantee that no matter what your interests, you’ll find something there that’s totally cool. It is a little Windoze-heavy for my tastes, but at least they don’t totally ignore the Mac community.

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Atlas Cerise draws my attention to the release of the Teo MP-301, an mp3 player in the shape of a crucifix. Unlike the iBelieve (which was really just an alternate lanyard for an iPod Shuffle), this is a fully featured mp3 player, with voice recording and FM radio functions. And in the shape of a cross! Take that Steve Jobs. And you thought you were God!

Now I dunno about you, but I have an overwhelming desire to own one of these so I can fill it up with all my old Black Sabbath CDs and Aleister Crowley spoken-word recordings. Then I’d wear it upside-down.

According to iceTech, who make the Teo:

… it comes with the conversion software that would allow you to transfer music of various formats from your CDs and files to this device.

Notice the sneaky ‘would’ in there. Not ‘will’, but ‘would’. As in: The software on the Teo ‘would’ allow you to transfer music from your CDs if that was, like, actually legal in the country you lived in. Like it isn’t in, oh, er Australia, for instance.

Which raises an interesting question: If you commit a sin, and you don’t actually know it’s a sin, will God really strike you off the register? I can only imagine the disbelief on the faces in the queue at the Pearly Gates when people realize they turned down all that sex only to be sent Hellward by a few meagre Britney Spears music-pirating offenses.

But fear not, favoured Acowlytes! If this is the kind of tricksy dilemma you find yourself contemplating, TCA Laboratories in association with PWB are proud to bring you an astounding alternative to the Teo.

Announcing: The Tetherd Cow Ahead MooO™!

Yes my friends, the MooO offers everything the Teo boasts but with the added advantage of the revolutionary new Tetherd Cow Ahead Absolution Engine™! Here at TCA Laboratories, we’ve developed technology that actually allows you to pilfer your music from anywhere you like and digitally cleanse it of any sin! 100% Money Back Guaranteed*

The new CowSound-enabled MooO! Holy Cow that Sounds Good™!

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*We’re talking exclusively metaphysics here. TCA Industries guarantees that the Absolution Engine removes sinfulness, but legal obligations under the law of your country are your own affair…

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Popular Mechanics website recently carried an article about the ‘fragility’ of the nascent robotics industry and the unlikeliness that we’ll be seeing robots making our martinis anytime soon. Colin Angle, the CEO of iRobot (a company that specializes in ‘home robotics’*) said in his keynote address at the RoboBusiness conference in Pittsburgh last month that ‘the killer app that will drive the industry hasn’t yet emerged‘.

When he says ‘killer app’ I don’t think he’s talking about the heavily armed SWORDS† robots that the US military deployed in Iraq in 2007 and then immediately undeployed when the robotic gun ‘started moving when it was not intended to move‘… Before it could shoot when it was not intended to shoot, one speculates.

You all know my thoughts on robots. I’m thinking that we still have a ways to go even with trusting them to dust the china before we start handing out the AK47s. Not that the US Military (nor indeed the voting majority of the democracy that is the United States of America) seems to require much in the way of actual intelligence (artificial or otherwise) in that respect.

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*When they say home robotics, they evidently mean vacuum cleaners at this point in time…

†Special Weapons Observation Reconnaissance Detection System. Well whaddya want? It’s the military – they’re not known for their literary acumen.

Image swiped from the unmatchably geek-cool Modern Mechanix. Go there now and marvel at the treasures.

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