For reasons that I’m not at liberty to divulge, I found myself this week being issued security clearance for access to one of the off-limits-to-mere-mortals areas of Sydney Airport.

This is what my pass said:

Sterile

How do they know? Or more worryingly, did they do something to me so that they would be certain? Jeez. I prolly need to up my dose of SPUR-M for a while.

(And imagine this if you will – I’m walking along the concourse and two women look at me and cluck with sympathy. Damn. I may as well have a badge that says ‘Impotent’. I wanted to say “I’m not, I’m not, I swear!” but I know what they’re going to think: “You’ve got an official badge that says it, chum. You can say what you want but we know what we’re going to tell everyone on the plane…”)