Fri 7 May 2010
Bacon Latté? Anyone?
Posted by anaglyph under Competition!, Food & Drink, Food Science, Ooky
[31] Comments
In keeping with the Tetherd Cow Ahead tradition of keeping regular readers up to date with the latest innovations in cured pig-flesh based comestibles (such as the Pork Martini, Pig Brain Aerosol ((OK, so that’s not something you’re supposed to digest, but who knows what pork fiends will do!)), and Pork Cake), we present to you today for your culinary delectation Torani Bacon Syrup. Yes folks, it’s true. Now you can enjoy your favourite crispy smoked ham flavours in an easy-to-use syrup!
That’s not so bad, I hear you protest, but then you haven’t yet read some of the Torani serving suggestions:
Torani Bacon syrup adds savory bacon flavor to cocktails, lattes, sauces and more.
Lattés? Lattés? Am I the only one who hasn’t been missing a salty pork flavour in my coffee? But the innovations don’t stop there! Torani also suggests you might be tempted by the thought of a Bacon Bloody Mary ((I guess I could see that…)), a Bacon Milkshake or (blasphemy!), a Bacon Manhattan. There’s even a recipe for a (gag) ‘Bacon Alexander’ (at least it doesn’t have cream in it).
Scanning the Torani products page, I see that they really have quite some selection of syrups there. My feeling is, though, that with this latest product they’re attempting to live high on the hog by making a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.
Still, I’m willing to be convinced – a Cow Medallion for the best recipe involving Torani Bacon Syrup. I will consider the word ‘best’ to mean whatever I think it should, in this context. Laughs will rate highly, but astute culinary skill will count too.
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Thanks to Guy for discovering this gem!
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31 Responses to “ Bacon Latté? Anyone? ”
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Bacon Icecream, no recipe just horror!
Was the product developed for the police force maybe?
The King
I think I just threw up, pass me some Torani to freshen my mouth
I want a medal just for making Malach throw up.
PIG SPLIT
Split a peeld bnanna lengt-wise.
Btween th bnanna halfs, place 1 scoop o vanilla ice-cream, 1 scoop o chocklate ice-cream, & 1 scoop o strawberry ice-cream.
Smothr th vanilla in chocklate sauce, th chocklate in marshmallow & th strawberry in crushd pineapple.
Top wif whippd cream, nuts, and cherries.
Add Torani Bacon Syrup and audacity in equal amounts (to taste).
I feel there’s the beginning of something here Polanski, but right now we’ve just got a banana split with Torani. I’m looking for true innovation!
You watch, it won’t belong before someone co-opts this stuff into their repertoire of bedroom games.
I like the way you’re thinking kyknoord! Now we’re starting to see the potential of Torani Bacon Syrup!
JEWS ON TH LOOSE
Stir 1 tsp. Torani Bacon Syrup into a goblet filld with Manischewitz.
Rend garments and enjoy.
THE FUN SUCKER
1 bottle Torani bacon syrup
1 straw
Open bottle of Torani bacon syrup, insert straw, and start sucking, bitch.
HAHAHAHA!
The Boys are Back in Town!
How about this:
Been on the town all night? Know you’d better eat but can’t keep anything solid down? Try the Torani Big Breakfast:
•Two raw eggs
•Orange juice
•Torani Bacon Syrup
•Torani Maple syrup
•Tablespoon of wheat germ
Blend ingredients and drink quickly.
TEMPTING TOES
Place generous portion of Torani Bacon Syrup (approx. 1.5 in. diameter) in center of dinner plate.
Press cut end of 1 pickld pigs foot in syrup.
Tilt plate till syrup runs to edge.
Set pigs foot horizontal on plate, pointing away from syrup-trail.
Garnish with meat cleaver and serve to guests.
FAIRLY FERAL OINKS & OXEN
Stir 1 tbsp Torani Bacon Syrup into piping hot cup of prepared Bonox.
Aftr all, what harm could it do?
HAHAHAHAHAHA! Winning so far. Polanski does it again!
[img]http://www.oldfishandlemonade.com/pix/billytorani.jpg[/img]
HAHAHAHAHA! And also ewww.
Papa Murphy’s Torani Excuse
Order one large Papa Murphy’s pizza of your choice. Preheat oven to 375F, pick up pizza, and bake for 20-30 minutes or until golden brown. Remove pizza from oven, let cool. Slice pizza, serve, and eat. Once finished, chug entire bottle of Torani’s Bacon Syrup to wash terrible taste from mouth. For better results, chug with Mentards.
The Torani Reagan:
Wait… what? I forgot the recipe.
Thank you for finally solving the condiment conundrum that has been causing argument between my friends and I for some time.
The conundrum is this: what condiment do you use with Texan s’mores?
Texan s’mores are just like your regular everyday s’mores, of course, only wrapped in bacon and deep fried.
I’ve been arguing the BBQ sauce side, but a Canadian friend has been arguing for maple syrup. I think you’ve finally found a condiment that we can both agree on!
I confess, I had to look up what ‘s’mores’ were. I provide the link here for all Aussies but I suggest you don’t go there on a full stomach.
As for the ‘wrapped in bacon and deep fried’, you’re joking, right Dewi? Right…. Dewi…???
Afraid I am.
So far as I know, the Texan s’more is currently only a hypothetical foodstuff. However, as soon as I get my mitts on a deep fat fryer, you can betcha they’ll become a reality.
I just hope I have some baconsauce to dip them in when the time comes.
After the invention of deep fried Mars Bars, it’s hard to be sure.
Well, guess I am late, but I was thinking: Bacon sushi, and substitute the wasabi and soy sauce for the Torani.
Sorry I missed the competition.
Hello acce245, and a big welcome to The Cow! Yes, your suggestion is mighty fine, and I like that it takes a lateral step into whole new cuisine possibilities! And you never know, those Japanese might just take you up on that…
And I declare this competition closed and won (again… geez!) by Joey for his ‘FAIRLY FERAL OINKS & OXEN’ suggestion. Joey, another medal for your chest. Here, in one single beverage is a concoction that can fill you up and clean you out at the same time.
Not only that, this salty sweet formulation of beef and pork defies all notions of haute cuisine. I suggest that Sir Joey trademark, patent and register it immediately. It might even keep fleas away.
Mmmmmm Bacon!
Roses are red
Bacon is red
Poetry is hard
Bacon.