OK, this is a heads-up people. It’s just over a week to International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Time to get the eye-patches & wooden legs out of storage, get yer pirattitude on and brush up on yer pirate lingo.

If ye don’t know what I’m yabberin’ about me hearties, then ye better be goin’ here. Learn how to talk like a pirate, what it be all about (hint: NOTHING SENSIBLE) and all the best pirate pick-up lines (such as the effective yet subtle “Prepare to be boarded!”).

Lest ye think it’s all silliness, let me refer ye to this important data on the official Flying Spaghetti Monster site which plots the decline in pirate numbers against global warming:

So ye can see it be all scientific-like: by being pirattical, ye may well be helping the environment. For me own part, on the Big Day I will be answerin’ the telephone as Cap’n Pete, keepin’ a plentiful supply of grog on hand and working all day with my pirate keyboard:

So ye lice-infested bilge rats, go find yerselves a parrot and ye proper pirate name, prepare to hoist the Jolly Roger and say after me: “Arrrrr!!”