Tue 12 Sep 2006
Aussie Values
Posted by anaglyph under Australiana, Politics, Stupidity
[18] Comments
As much as I love living in this country, there’s no getting away from it: our political landscape is just one big petty no-holds-barred squabble for the attention of the stupid uneducated voter.
Consider the new proposal put forward toward today by the increasingly desperate and pathetic Leader of the Opposition, Kim Beazley: Australia should require visitors to complete an ‘Aussie Values’ Statement before they can get into The Wide Brown Land.
This from the head of the political party for which I have voted for most of my adult life.
I cringe in embarrassment.
Some of the ‘Aussie Values’ that Mr Beazley and his cronies have somehow settled on with no consultation at all with Aussies such as myself are: “Respect for different religions and cultures, for the equal treatment of women, and for hard work and respect for Australia’s institutions, including its democracy, laws, courts, parliaments, armed forces and police“.
OK, let’s see. ‘Respect for hard work‘?* You’d have to throw out half the people who are already here. ‘Respect for the parliament’? I lost that years ago.
Way to go Mr Beazley. Maybe just to completely clarify our status to the rest of the world each of us should hang a sign around our necks saying ‘Yokel’.
And ‘respect for different religions and cultures’ should have appended ‘as long as they’re not the indigenous aboriginal population’, surely?
What this is all about, of course, is keeping the flickering flame that is the Fear of Terrorism alive in the Australian psyche. Because everyone has learned that the way to get elected these days is to Cut Interest Rates and Keep Our Country Safe From Terrorism!
So, all you terrorists, you just better watch out, because next time you try getting into our Fair Country, you might have to get past a form like this:
UPDATE: After a full day of this on the news, I am even more embarrassed. I feel I have to say that I unreservedly apologize to people of other cultures who find this idea offensive. Even though I’ve made fun of it, I don’t find it funny at all and I am deeply ashamed to be a part of a society who has these kinds of small-minded thoughts.
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* Although I suppose technically you could respect it without actually doing it.
18 Responses to “ Aussie Values ”
Trackbacks & Pingbacks:
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[…] Boundless plains of bone-dry dirt made worse by the aforementioned clearing of Nature’s gifts. Which we’ll share with you if you demonstrate the proper Aussie Valuesâ„¢ […]
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[…] of the Australian Citizenship Test, colloquially known as the Aussie Values Test. I’ve spoken about it before on The Cow, but I had hoped that it would just evaporate back into the Formless Void of Moronic […]
Heck, it souns like Australia is auditionin t bcome our 51st state.
Auditioning?
I think you’ve used the wrong tense in the Steve irwin section, unless, of course, you’re planning to keep bits of him in a jar, like Pharlap.
I didn’t say National Living Treasure. I fully expect that Steve Irwin Relics will start appearing pretty soon.
other questions might include a multiple choice such as:
q1: a really funny joke would ideally be:
a) sexist
b) racist
c) homophobic
d) all of the above
q2: which (if any) of the followign items are suitable for throwing on a barbie?
a) tinnies
b) shrimp
c) Ken
q3: Aborigines are (tick all that apply)
a) an ancient, indigenous people of australia
b) a bunch of lowlife alcoholics
c) not really Australian
d) the original vicitims of uncontrolled immigration
Hmm. The main problem with multiple choice though is that people have to think. After hearing some of the commentary that’s been made today, I’m pretty sure there’s no-one left here who has that capacity.
There are about a million things I could say about the state of our country after reading about this stupid poilicy, but I will say only this.
The more I read about things like this, the less I feel like being here.
:-)
I already tried to move somewhere else but they wouldn’t let me. If it keeps up I’m heading for NZ.
According to the article you linked, the “president of the Islamic Council of Victoria” said the proposal was “worthy of some focus group research.”
That’s like, three or four times more evil than say, death by committee. Your Mr. Beazley should keep an eye on that fellow.
No, you see Jam, that guy has his Aussie Values down pat. Yeah, let’s have a focus group. That’s almost as effective at sorting out problems as filling in a form!
What really gets me, is that all they’re planning to do is make sure that their citizenship oath/declaration/thing says that they subscribe to these values. So they expect getting every new citizen to declare that they intend to live by these values will of course prevent them from being evil terrorists. Yes. Right.
Yes, this is embarrassing, but I’m so used to our politicians being embarrassing that I simply sat on the couch and laughed hysterically. A certain person I know, who a couple of decades ago worked in counter-terrorism (at the height of the Cold War, actually) but at the same time he was shaking his head looking pained. He’s rather used to politicians doing stupid things like this, I’m afraid.
Hey, Reverend? If I one day take over the country and make it illegal to be stupid and in a position of any power, will you help me? I think I need to begin by forming a secret army of like minded intelligent people capable of identifying those that are an embarrassment to our country…
Whoops, meant to say he was also laughing while shaking his head looking pained. Accidentally deleted it somehow.
PD: Unfortunately, it seems that being stupid is not only not detrimental to getting into power, but actually helpful.
I’m afraid you might not like me in your Secret Army. I’m likely to be the Heinrich Himmler of said army, with a view to just shooting all the stupid people. I’ve come to a time in my life where I think that’s likely to be the only effective measure.
I’d be okay with that. *smirks*
“As much as I love living in this country, there’s no getting away from it: our political landscape is just one big petty no-holds-barred squabble for the attention of the stupid uneducated voter.”
Welcome to the U.S., pardner! I’d try to put a positive spin on the situation for you, but . . . eh . . . I’ve got nothin’. Misery loves company.
Sob. Buy you another drink?