Thu 23 Sep 2010
At God’s Command It Did Divide
Posted by anaglyph under Atheism, God Creates..., In The News, Stupidity, The Baffling Bible
[16] Comments
Sometimes it’s completely baffling to me how a news service decides that something is news. Take this article that has been doing the rounds.
The gist behind it is that a Mr Carl Drews, from the National Centre for Atmospheric Research in Colorado (variously described as ‘a scientist’, a ‘Christian engineer’ ((I’m not quite sure why, but that term makes me feel rather nervous. Maybe it’s because I have this image of such a person designing a bridge or a plane or something and thinking to themselves ‘Oh well, that’s good enough. If it doesn’t work, God will hold it up…’)) and a ‘Christian who accepts the scientific theory of evolution’), has used some computer modeling to bolster his hypothesis that the Biblical story of Moses parting the waters of the Red Sea to allow the Israelites to evade the pursuing Egyptian army, has some kind of physical basis in meteorological phenomena.
Gah.
Come on. Which is a more reasonable explanation – that the Red Sea story is an accurate factual account of preposterously unlikely weird and freaky weather conditions, or that, like so much else in the Bible, it is simply an allegory or an exaggerated tale that has expanded in the telling and re-telling over many centuries?
What is it with this need by religious people to attempt to prove that the Bible is a literal recounting of actual events? Why do they feel compelled to have physical evidence of something that they tell us time and time again comes down to a matter of Faith? And how come they can use science to bolster their myths when it suits them, and ignore it when it brings up evidence that doesn’t suit their beliefs?
OK Mr Drews, now that you’ve solved the Red Sea conundrum, how about you start on the story of the loaves and the fishes? What’s the scientific explanation for Jesus being able to feed a ‘multitude’ (supposedly five thousand men) with five loaves and two fishes? I suppose he had some kind of Star Trek-style replicator hidden under his robes? Or maybe it’s just a story…
And news services: why are you giving column space to idiotic non-news like this? Is the next step ‘The Science Behind Little Red Riding Hood’? (This Just In – Science Shows a Wolf can Speak!)
Again. Gah.
[img]http://lh4.ggpht.com/_57Ka0pJpiyE/TJpxCc3IAyI/AAAAAAAAAqM/OUFLFBivVWg/itdivides.jpg[/img]
I always knew he was good at math.
This is idolatry, this guy should go to hell
When they say “The Lord moves in mysterious ways”, often I think of Malach.
I think of bowel motions
I have an image of the Lord on a dance floor with everyone looking on in bafflement.
And what about all the moronic “The Star of Bethlehem could have been comet x or planet Y.”?
Yes – exactly the same thing. As a scientific document, the Bible is about as informative as a comic book.
I remember reading somewhere, many years ago, that some scientist said that the ‘manna from heaven’ was actually caused by the tail of a comet passing through the atmosphere and the resulting floculent was edible. I suppose they feel compelled to do such ‘stuff’ because how could the bible possibly be wrong? I think that the manna was bee poop from a huge swarming! Or maybe geese. Or not.
Will this idiocy never end?? Well probably not. God! but Christians are entertaining!!
The thing that ticks me off is the complete ambivalence to fact when it doesn’t suit them. The Bible is by any sensible reckoning a cobbling together of hearsay, myth, allegory, superstition and wishful thinking held loosely together by an historical context. It is certainly not very sound on science.
DREWS: And so you can see, on the basis of my computer modeling, that the Biblical story of Moses parting the waters of the Red Sea clearly has a physical basis in meteorological phenomena.
JOEY: Ah! Fascinating! So it would seem that GOD had nothing to do with it!
DREWS: Ummm …
Ah, but Joey, God used science to do it!
Sounds like God can have his manna and eat it, too.
Yeah. God probably has a Ph.D. in Science.
Funny that these ‘Christian engineers’ never seem to use what little science they posses to try and contact God directly. I mean what else should they be doing surely? How hard is it to build a transmitter, and when the Lord replies we can ask him what he used on the friggin’ sea. If he’s all powerful he could just use a cell phone or they could send him an email, doesn’t he own the internet?
All this guesswork is just plain silly, and the Devil is in there altering all the data anyway…
I think we need to ask the guy straight up: God, mate, how on earth did you part the seas? Maybe we could also ask him why he’s so down on the Palestinians – didn’t he see that coming?
The King
Yeah, your majesty, God is pretty harsh in dealing with His disobedient children. You’d think some psychologist would have recommended that He simply smite a pillow when feeling aggravated.