Thu 25 Apr 2013
All Purpose Blog Post
Posted by anaglyph under Daft Advertising, Idiots, Words
[9] Comments
Those who know me in real life will tell you how fond I am of my barbecuing. I really love to get out there and throw a few prawns on the barbie. Problem is that as the year heads into winter, venturing out to the barbecue to cook an evening meal becomes a little more perilous as the days get shorter and the darkness comes on earlier.
Usually I fend off the shadows with a small torch clenched in my teeth, but as you can probably imagine this is not a convenient way to get a steak cooked properly. Imagine my delight, then, when I discovered today the Gasmate BBQ Grill Light – an LED lamp that conveniently attaches to my barbecue with a clamp or strong magnets.
But what’s this on the packaging? The light, they tell me, is, apparently, ‘all purpose’.
Faithful Cowpokes. The instrument has – surely – only one purpose and one purpose alone: to shed light on the barbecue area. Are you with me on this? I suppose that I could, in desperation, use it as a blunt weapon or an art installation, but even then, it’s not all purpose.
Oh, the mangling of the language. It burns.
We have had one of those very same lights for 5 years. We have tried in vain to use it for any other purpose, but have failed. Beware!
I thought as much. Luckily, I only want it for the single purpose of illuminating my barbecue grill.
On thesaurus.com, all-purpose is synonymous with appropriate, handy, helpful, flexible (hmmm…), suitable. I think the all-purpose bit fits fine, actually. I can’t think of why it isn’t handy and flexible, or an all-purpose light? I mean, certainly, you could shine the light on anything, couldn’t you?
Well, of course, you could shine it on anything you liked, but then you wouldn’t sell it as a BBQ Grill Light.
All-purpose may indeed be synonymous with all the things you mention, but my point is that the phrase itself is completely daft. Even ‘multi-purpose’ would be better. But the fact is, the purpose for which this light is manufactured and sold is to shine on your barbecue grill. I can’t see someone purchasing it for a caving expedition. Even if they did, it would still not be ‘all’ purpose…
I guess you could use it for dental work
CAn you try it and tell us how it goes?
I can now tell you that it works excellently for the purpose of illuminating the barbecue grill. Reports on other purposes as they occur.
I’m with you, Rev. It’s sole purpose is to emit LIGHT, regardless of what happens to be in the path of said light rays!
The trend seems to be to add as many adjectives as possible to the description of what it is you are trying to sell, much like those interminable TV ads for Ab Flabbers, meaty mincers or whatever the hell else they are promoting.
People don’t know how to read anymore. It appears that you can use any word to impress them.
I just bet the people at Gasmate are passionate about barbecues.