Wed 26 Jul 2006
According to My Hart
Posted by anaglyph under Spam Observations
[6] Comments
Spam Observations #26
On the weekend, someone called Ted Herring (or Kenton Winn – yes, you guessed it, SIC* strikes again) wrote to me breathlessly:
From: ted_herring@shit4brains.biz
Subject: Fw: Hi! I have good news!
Greetings Reverend!.How are you? I hope you are fine. I missed you so much honey. I have been thinking about our last meeting so much…
O-k-a-y… So. That was an important meeting, then? Honey?
…and I’ll never forget all the fun we had together that month.
(Looks like it left more of an impression on Ted/Kenton than it did on me. I must have been really smashed).
About me all the same, same town same city same job hheheh all the same I am bored and I cant wait to visit u next year.
No. God. Please no! I’m not living here, er there, er, wherever we had fun that month.
Almost nothing has changed between us; my hart is waiting for you.
Hart? Hmm. I don’t remember a deer either. Man it must have been perverted.
Hey, and what do you mean by ‘almost nothing has changed between us’? Are you keeping something from me Ted?
By the way, do you remember that distributor of art, who helped me selling different items,
No.
yes, that ones I was reselling to Artists and Collectors.
Nope. Not ringing a bell. But then I guess if I don’t remember a deer…
Their Comicion to our money-bags!!
Right on! (I have no idea what he’s waffling about).
They want to sell their antiques at the Art Market in Australia. But they have some reasons for not opening a branch in Australia for the moment. Maybe next year, this means that I can move to Sydney very soon.
Don’t feel you need to hurry… I might be moving anyway. To… er… Tierra del Fuego, yes, that’s it. To start up, er… an anchovy trawling business…
The only thing I can say is that I’ve worked with this company for a long time and they are really the best bosses I ever had in my life, you know all the time I have in my life for my activities.
Yes, I’m beginning to get some idea.
In short they are searching for people for distant-work. This job will take only couple of hours a day, but blahblah blahblah blahblah blahblah blahblah blahblah blahblah blahblah blahblah blahblah blahblah blahblah blahblah blahblah blahblah blahblah…
…ad nauseum. He signs off:
PS. By the way, you promised me to call and didn’t keep it. It’s no good forgetting your old and faithful friend. I’ll always be glad to here from you,
Remember me to your mates,
Love you Heepss,Kenton Winn
So mateys. I’m remembering Ted/Kenton to you all. And I’m sending on all your email addresses so he can love you heepss as well.
I know you’ll want to here from and old and faithful friend. And his deer.
___________________________________________________________________________
*Spammer Identity Confusion. In case you forgot.
Ted/Kenton the girly-man makes those pink envelopes in my mailbox look pretty good. *My* gender might be muddled in the senders’ view but at least their own identity is consistent, though possibly indeterminate.
It coud be werse, Revrend: You couda got a message from somone ya nevr met bfore, sayin he nevr wants t see you again.
RaJ: I feel like I have been treated cheaply by Ted/Kenton. I don’t think that month of fun with him and his deer meant nearly as much as he says. I think he’s just using me.
Joey: I got a phone call to that effect once. A screaming tirade of abuse from someone who I didn’t know, saying she never wanted to see me again. Not only that, the woman concerned claimed I had gotten her pregnant.
Ahhh … one o THEM pregnancys!
Did she say she was gonna have yer KIDNY or yer BLADDR?
the CHEATING bastard, he send the same email to me. I couldn’t return his email as I’m too busy checking out these stock prices that a total stranger told me to buy.
—–Original Message—–
From: Johnnie Butler [mailto:info@shit4brains.biz]
Sent: Sunday, 9 July 2006 1:59 PM
Subject: Fw: I’m fine, but still searching for business partners.
How are you? I hope you are fine. I missed you so much honey. I have been thinking about our last meeting so much and I’ll never forget all the fun we had together that month.
About me all the same, same town same city same job hheheh all the same I am bored and I cant wait to visit u next year.
Almost nothing has changed between us; my hart is waiting for you.
By the way, do you remember that distributor of art, who helped me selling different items, yes, that ones I was reselling to Artists and Collectors. Their Comicion to our money-bags!! They want to sell their antiques at the Art Market in Australia. But they have some reasons for not opening a branch in Australia for the moment. Maybe next year, this means that I can move to Sydney very soon.
The only thing I can say is that I’ve worked with this company for a long time and they are really the best bosses I ever had in my life, you know all the time I have in my life for my activities and also They never let me down. I am completely satisfied with their assistance in all work matters.
In short they are searching for people for distant-work. This job will take only couple of hours a day, but the salary is rather acceptable, 300-400 dollars weekly.
They asked me to help them in finding any bulletin boards. I know that you work with different kinds of announcements and may be you can advice something. Or may be you know a couple of honest people who need some work. The requirements to candidate are not too high, he should be an honest person able to work with PC- Know about Internet- and some other office tools, you know, like Word Excel MSN, etc.
So if you have someone in mind, say them to write to info@shit4brains.biz
PS. By the way, you promised me to call and didn’t keep it. It’s no good forgetting your old and faithful friend. I’ll always be glad to here from you,
Remember me to your mates,
Love you Heepss,
Raymundo Steele
m: !!! In your letter, look who Johnnie Butler (aka Ted, aka Kenton) also thinks he is: Raymundo!! Maybe ALL spammers are the same person! And that person is Raymundo!