Fri 14 Dec 2007
A Christmas Parable
Posted by anaglyph under Hmmm..., Philosophy
[14] Comments
Violet Towne and I were in inner city Melbourne this week when we were accosted by person who might be these days termed ‘height-challenged’ but in the time of my less politically correct childhood would gave been called a dwarf.
Personally, I can’t see much of a problem with the term ‘dwarf’. Before Lord of the Rings the logical cultural link anyone was likely to make with that term was with the happy chaps that whistled while they worked, made squillions from their diamond mine and were shacked up with a spunky chick. When I was a teenager hanging out in the theatre, we had a chap who fit that image perfectly. Well, if you included a fondness for sherry and imagined the local newspaper packing room was a diamond mine. In any event, he certainly hit it off well with the young ladies…
But I digress.
The short fellow who confronted us in town seemed a little agitated and with little preamble reeled off a story about his wallet having been stolen and how he was going to have to make phone calls to cancel all his credit cards and how he needed some money to get a train to his home in the Dandenong Ranges (an area just on the outskirts of Melbourne).
Now, as cynical as you all know me to be, I am still inclined at first flush to cut people the benefit of the doubt. I gave the guy a bill. Not enough for his train fare all the way, but I thought it would help him out. It has to be said: he snaffled the cash without so much as a backward glance and was on his way.
Violet Towne, who is possibly a little more street savvy than I am, wasn’t about to part with any of her hard-earned change for someone she pegged pretty quickly as a pan-handler (I noticed that she kept a tight grip on her purse as the exchange took place). Reflecting on it as the little man zipped off into the crowd, I couldn’t help but agree with her; it did seem fairly likely that Shorty had peddled that particular story more than once.
“Oh well,” I said, “I guess if he feels compelled to ask people for a handout he’s somewhat worse off than we are.”
The following morning this text conversation takes place between me & VT:
VT (on her way to work on the train): Hey! The dwarf just got on the train! He’s dressed in a suit!
Reverend: See! I was right!
VT: But he got on at Heatherdale. That’s a long way from Dandenongs.
Reverend: Whaddya expect? You were too mean to give him the extra he needed to get home.
The jury will probably remain forever out on the truth of the matter, but I figure that this is a Christmas Parable that can be read in whichever way you are inclined to view the Season.
Seriously, these people are dumb! They see a nice man, a Reverend for God’s sake, and they hit him for the cash. But if they were a BIT smarter, they would be gushingly, even embarrassingly grateful, so that the Reverend’s companion, and even other passersby, would be convinced of his genuineness and help him out as well.
I’m sorry he’s vertically challenged, I’m sorry he’s a loser, but I’ve got no time for dumb people!
the fullah in the street was the evil twin of the one on the train.simple.
A certain Miss K and I were once accosted on Oxford Street by a nicely dressed, albeit agitated, young man who needed his bus fare to Coogee. Generous Miss K gave him money, while I demured, and then felt bad about being so suspicious. We went in to see our movie. We emerged some two or so hours later and – you can guess it – not only was he still there, but he hit us up for cash again. Miss K smartly told the fella she had already given him his bus fare. Without a blink, he replied that he had been to Coogee, and had now come back.
Midget porn rocks
Is it snowing in here, or is it just me?
omigosh. i love midgets (you may have read about my goals and aspirations to wrestle one in lime jello). now midget is officially the wrong thing to call them. but i so dont get why. they actually like to be called dwarves, although it seems a bit mythical to me, like unicorns or jesus. anyway, there’s a show about a whole family of midgets, and they are always calling themselves dwarves.
Isn’t the new term P.O.R.G.S.?
I dislike the notion that I’m a cynical jaded ignorer of people in need, but…
I’m with Miz Violet on this one.
I’ve heard that one at least 15 times. Nowadays I prefer it when they say something original like “I really need a drink”…
Ill try to keep th ol homunckulus on a leash from now on, Revrend.
Tho my profit margin is cnsiderable …
Less a Christmas parable and more a Short Story.
Pil: He was smart enough to get a handout from me.
Wolfman: I do believe you might be onto something there.
Cissy Strutt: Yes, that’s a great story, and I laughed out loud (again) when I read your recounting.
Malach: If he’s a midget porn star then he must have fallen upon soft times.
Colonel: The weather outside is frightful
But the fire is so delightful
And since we’ve no place to go…
TMock: I’d pay to see a midget Jesus riding a unicorn.
Pil: OK. I give up.
Phoebe Fay: I think you & VT are cut from the same cloth.
Bean: Yeah. I’m with you. I think I’d be most likley to give someone money if they were just honest about why they wanted it. Unless it was to go buy midget porn, in which case I’d be keeping the cash.
Joey: I thought that guy looked familiar.
Atlas Cerise: Don’t I know you from somewhere? That kind of terrible pun is somehow… familiar…
Repeat aftr me, Revrend:
“Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses?”
Bah. Humbug!