Mon 19 Sep 2005
River Deep Mountain High
Posted by anaglyph under Spam Observations
[8] Comments
Spam Observations #14
Helga wrote to me today to say:*
You’ll be surprized the number of confused girls looking for adventurous people! 0! have some fun now!
Helga seems to be telling me that the number of confused girls looking for adventurous people is zero! She is obviously aware of my penchant for statistics and numbers, but I’m not exactly sure why she thinks this in particular will be of interest to me, and further, how I could have fun with this information.
Leaving Helga’s obvious lack of mathematical acumen aside, one is left with the image of confused girls in Himalayan bars making eyes at visitors over the fermented yak’s milk:
“Hey big boy. That’s a pretty nice caribiner you’ve got there – can I touch it? I bet you could show a girl the ropes. You look like a mountain man – I bet you like… oh! This isn’t The Stoned Crow! How did I get here? Who are you? What is this with the disgusting Vodka and Rancid Yoghurt?”
*The spam in this series is quoted verbatim. As bizarre as each is.
Despite a deep-rooted contentment in ignorance, I do find myself wondering what that message said in its… uh, native tongue. Mostly the “confused” part.
Vodka and rancid yoghurt. A demented White Russian, eh? Graphic, disgusting; I like it! In fact I can almost taste it… okay that’s not so good.
Count me in as one confused girl.
rj: Stay AWAY from the alcohol and curdled milk drinks. It never ends happily.
Anne Arkham: Yeah, right, you are confused like a fox is crazy.
How fortuitous / ironic / strange I should find this article [Uncyclopedia] detailing – among other things – the relationship between vodka and yogurt.
Yes, RJ, strange/fortuitous/ironic indeed. Particularly as one of the flavours of yoghurt is listed as:
Cow – Still highly popular, produced by liquidating a whole cow at a time.
Coincidence? Or has your spamment trap opened up a time/space vortex that is drawing us inexorably into a web of odd happenings and inexplicable synchronicities?
Hilarious.
“Mountain man” – I suddenly imagined an oversized ogre with a club and loin cloth.
Verif. word: pzulk.
That looks like an appropriate name for the vodka and yoghurt mix.
…or for the sound you make as it comes back up through your nose and sprays out through your fingers.
How I love starting my workday laughing out loud. And a brand new word to say and/or produce sound-of! Perfect.
Future post title: Pzulk Vortices: A New Spin. Wait, has that already happened?