In the last post we had a surprise visit from a proponent of ShooTag who, for some reason, opined in a lengthy diatribe that I would not ‘dare to bring yourself to publish (it) on your relentless “Ode to Yourself”‘. Au contraire my clueless friend. I’m not in the least afraid of your witless opinion. Indeed, I’ve decided to bring you to the front page of Tetherd Cow Ahead, where all might witness your risible babbling.

For those who missed it, this is the comment that ‘Kookaburra’ left:

Good Day, Mate! Greetings from your neighbor out in the bush. I have read the endless put-downs and verbal diarrhea you have so relentlessly put into this crusade against the shoo!tag product. It must be very, very threatening to you, for you to spend countless time and energy into trying to disclaim them. It makes people more and more interested in the product, since you seem to be so obsessed with it. I can only assume you are either:
1. A competitor in the industry of pest repellant’s.
2. Actually paid by shoo!tag to keep the controversy and interest in the product at a fever pitch.
Your undying attention and allegiance to this cause is kind of creepy, otherwise.
Anyway, because of all the attention, controversy and spotlight you have put on this product, I have just ordered the tags for myself, my horses and my dogs and will try them myself in the outback. The tags are being sold all over Australia, I have discovered…and in 5 other countries. I did my own investigating of the company, read a report where a major Venture Capitalist group has just invested several $100,000.00 in the company. Being a businessman, in the field of marketing, that does not speak to me as failure, or hoax, or voodoo. In closing, speaking to you from the heart – as a fellow Aussie, please do not makes all us blokes out to be so cruel, ignorant and close-minded. And since you obviously know so much about how this product does not work, please tell me exactly which tag you tested for yourself?
Apparently you have never had reason to use the tags, since you obviously never leave your spot in front of your computer monitor. Our country is vast and beautiful. Take a hike and clear your head and discover the beauty of actually LIVING your life, instead of trying to demean other’s.
Let’s see if you can dare to bring yourself to publish this on your relentless “Ode to Yourself”.

Well, as King Willy so quickly pointed out, it takes about an attosecond for a real Australian to see that the person writing this is not one.

For a start, we just don’t start conversations with ‘Good Day Mate’, especially in correspondence. You might proffer a cheerful g’day to someone on the street, and you might even call them ‘mate’, but as a written appellation… sorry chum, you screwed it on the first three words. You also conflate the two ideas of ‘the bush’ and ‘the outback’ speaking as if they are one thing. Any real Australian knows the difference between those two concepts, especially someone who lives in one of those places. Kookaburra‘s idea of how Australians behave comes from the same lame ‘How To’ guide that brought you Outback Steakhouse. Kookaburra also manages to spell ‘neighbour’ and ‘diarrhoea’ in the American fashion, something that he can’t blame on an American spellcheck because his incorrect spelling of ‘repellents’ ((Let’s not even mention the egregious apostrophe)) plainly demonstrates that he isn’t using any kind of spellcheck at all. I think this duplicitous behaviour is a pretty good indication of the kind of people we’re dealing with here

However, Kookaburra, since you evidently think you have some kind of point let me dispel some of the illusions under which you appear to be labouring: ((See how I spelled that with a ‘u’? That’s how we do it here, for future reference))

•I am obsessed with ShooTag.

The ShooTaggers shouldn’t flatter themselves that they are anything special. They are not my sole concern when it comes to pseudoscientific rubbish. If you’d bothered to read my blog at all, you would know that ShooTag is just one of the many daft ideas that comes under my scrutiny. I object to all people who use worthless, unscientific quackery to fleece other people. You might like to read my thoughts on free energy, ‘power’ bracelets, homeopathy and magic water to see what kind of company I consider ShooTag to be in.

•I somehow find the product/concept/discussion (fuck, I don’t know) threatening.

Er. What? It’s a dumb little piece of plastic that does nothing. How is that threatening to anything (except people’s wallets of course)? Or do you mean it’s threatening to my worldview or something? Ha. There are thousands of scams like ShooTag – I’m not so much threatened as just plain disappointed with the greed and stupidity of certain members of the human race.

•It makes people more and more interested in the product.

I sincerely doubt that. If they bother to read what I say, I think they get a very good idea of what kind of product ShooTag is. Indeed, aside from comments from people affiliated with ShooTag, I receive mostly positive affirmations of my exposure of this silly item.

•I spend ‘countless time and energy’ (oh, the trashing of the language – it hurts, it hurts…) trying to ‘disclaim’ ShooTag (I think the word you’re looking for is ‘declaim’).

And yet I manage to have a productive career, tend to a lovely family and get to the movies occasionally. How do I do it?! Maybe it’s because it only takes a second to refute such ridiculous claims? Yeah, that’s gotta be it.

•I am a ShooTag competitor.

No I’m not.

•I am a ShooTag promoter.

Now see, you’re really not paying attention.

•Interest in ShooTag is at fever pitch.

Bwahahahahaha! Whatever you say.

•I’m kind of creepy.

Is that meant to be an insult?

•The tags are being sold all over Australia and in other countries.

So are homeopathic remedies and bottles of ‘vibrational’ water. It doesn’t make them functional or useful.

•A major venture capitalist group has just invested ‘several $100,000’ in the company and that doesn’t speak of failure, or hoax, or voodoo.

Really? And you say you’re a businessman? As far as I can see it this means only one of two things: either the investors are completely stupid, or they’ve scoped the huge untapped market of gullible pet owners and are happy to rip them off. It’s hardly impressive. Having money has never meant a person either has scruples or is smart.

•I am portraying ‘us blokes’ ((This oleaginous chumminess is about as puke-making as I can imagine. I am not your mate, mate – you are ignorant, foolish and deceitful. I choose my company a lot more carefully)) as cruel, ignorant and close-minded.

I say this every time I tangle with you people (oh, let’s just give up the pretense – this Kookaburra person is quite obviously someone from the ShooTag cartel) ((The ShooTaggers are quite prepared to pretend to be other people in a number of other forums)): you can convince me instantly that your product is effective by just showing me your science. If your tag works, you can prove it beyond all reasonable doubt by having a third disinterested party do some controlled double-blind experiments. It’s a basic requirement of all new scientific principles to satisfy this one criterion. It’s not even a hard thing to do. And yet you are unable to offer up any such data. Why is that? Because there is none!

My mind will be changed instantly when I see such conclusive proof. I am, in fact, totally open-minded in that respect. Where I am close-minded is when you try and tell me guff about ‘trivector energy fields’ and ‘quantum fractal geometry’ and ‘Schumann Waves’ – all of which constitute high level nonsense. To anyone with even a little scientific knowledge you are quite plainly pulling all this stuff out of your ass. You don’t have the foggiest clue what you’re speaking about.

As for ‘cruel’ – show me on my blog where I’ve been ‘cruel’. Sure, I’ve had fun demonstrating your absolute lack of science acumen, but hey, if you’re making these outrageous claims you’d better be able to deal with criticism or you’re toast.

As for ‘ignorant’, well, let me refer readers back to this post so they can make up their own mind which of us is the one who has never read a science text book in their life.

•I should ‘take a hike in ‘our’ vast and beautiful country and clear my head and discover the beauty of actually LIVING my life’.

Cobber, I’ve plainly seen a lot more of this country than you have with your fake online Australian accent and your shabby virtual Driza-bone. I don’t know who you are ((Although I have a pretty good suspicion)), but your presumption in telling ME to take a hike is as pathetic as it is transparent. I have to ask what it is that you feel threatened by, to undertake these sad little masquerades to defend your product.

If it worked, the simple fact is that you wouldn’t care what a lone Australian blogger thought.

•I haven’t tested the tags myself.

Oh, stay tuned my friend. I’ve got some really interesting things to reveal about ShooTag.