Tue 10 Jul 2007
Relics
Posted by anaglyph under Peter Popoff
[12] Comments
These are the things I have accumulated so far in my Relics of Prophet Peter Popoff Series. Cool huh? I bet you all want some now. I am still coveting the Dead Sea Salt, which I was promised but never received.
But I guess I’m not supposed to covet, according to the Bible.
Maybe I will write and ask Peter P for some though, for doesn’t the Bible also say ‘Ask and ye shall receive’? I certainly won’t have to waste a stamp.
By the way, July 7 has passed without anything of significance happening in my life, in contradiction to Prophet Pete’s prediction. Hands up who’s surprised?
Turns out that the Prophet’s a fraud
And his system implausibly flawed
It seems rather funny
Unless you send money
You won’t get his help or God’s
————————-
To Pete I wrote a letter, brief
And asked his help and his relief
To try and fix your disbelief
But turn’s out he was just a thief.
Oh, and I just noticed that Harry Potter and the Holy Wafer, Harry Potter and the Golden Thread, and Harry Potter and the Miracle Water all sound like plausible titles for the HP series. Also, J.K. Rowling and the Money to Burn.
I’m thinking that Harry Potter books would probably be a more reliable source of wisdom than anything Prophet Pete has to say.
So … across th room from Mysterious Corner is what? Ridickulous Corner?
You can use the wafer and water to make pancakes, and then cook them on a fire kindled with the leaves and money shreds.
Profit Peter is such a generous guy, I’m almost speechless.
Um, I’m still confused by the leaves. Is that one big leaf with little stick-on baby leaves attached to it? Or are those little dots representative of evil weevils or other beasties that are eating away our souls like hungry caterpillars go through godly leaves?
Joey: I’d need a much bigger house if I was going to start up a Ridiculous Corner. The offerings of Peter Popoff alone would take up a few shelves…
Colonel: What a great idea! And if only I had the Dead Sea Salt, even better!!! But what about the Golden Thread? Where does that fit in, do you think?
Phoebe Fay: The leaves are the only things that confuse you? Think yourself lucky that I haven’t published the contents of the letters. Your brain would be in a puddle around your feet.
I am here now. I might test your authenticity.
freerayder: Hello there! Thanks for dropping by. Test away – I am the one-and-only authentically robust Reverend of the Church of the Tetherd Cow.
I have the paperwork to prove it.
shame on u pete for stealing helpless peoples money,and beside doing it in the name of God, dont u think, its time u stop doing that, and saying, if u dont give u will not be blessed that’s a big Shame, faith , belief and trust goes together with pray and God will certainly open that door.
Yeah, thanks for that speechless. You might like to change your handle to brainless and learn to read.
Now I see you’re from Canada, so perhaps you are a bit of a slow study, but I’ll speak distinctly and carefully, so give me your full attention:
I am NOT Peter Popoff. I have never been Peter Popoff. I don’t know Peter Popoff. This post, and the others like them are ABOUT Peter Popoff. I am employing a philosophical kind of rhetoric called ‘satire’ when I write these observations. You may have heard of satire – it’s like a kind of joke in which a person is caricatured in order to throw some sort of illumination on their character. No? Completely new concept to you? OK. Then may I suggest you spend a few years of your life in an educational institution (I think they are called ‘schools’ there, same as here) so that you may understand these kind of things a little better. Trust me, in your case there can be no disadvantage…
Dang, anaglyph, u sure use some big werds and talk purty…