Spam Observations #36

Natasha wrote to me this morning with this interesting observation:

From: natasha@spamcretins.com
Subject: Unhappy with the way you look?

Did you know obesity kills more and more people every year? We know you hate the extra pounds, the ugly look and the social stigmata attached to fat people…

Social stigmata, Natasha? Maybe you mean social stigma? Stigmata, as we all know, are the bleeding wounds most commonly associated with Christian religious raptures

But then again, maybe you do mean stigmata, what would I know? There’s an awful lot of things in the world that I wouldn’t know about if not for spam. As if the extra pounds and the ugly look weren’t trials enough, maybe fat people now have to endure sudden bleeding from the hands and eyes in social situations.

If you happen to be one of these porky people so afflicted, my suggestion to you is that you pretend you’re having a vision of Christ. In this way, people will possibly look more kindly on the fact that you’re taking up two seats on the bus and getting blood all over their shopping.