Fri 3 Feb 2012
Please Don’t Confuse the Computer
Posted by anaglyph under Hmmm..., Idiots, Spam Observations, Weird Messages, Words
[22] Comments
Some tips for phishermen:
1. A spell-check is probabbly a good idea.
2. When speaking language other than your own, learn how plural work.
3. Proper (companies)hire professionals to make surethat type spacing is correct.
4. Try not to invent wordis that don’t exist in your target language. Also, to use correct grammar.
5. Sense it might good idea be to appear to make.
6. avoid Arbitrary capiTalization.
7. Humour is generally best avoided. Oh, sorry, I see – that wasn’t intentional.
8. A number pulled out of your ass is meaningless and impresses nobody (ref:198550)
This just depresses the shit outta me. Not because phishers and their target audience are thick as bricks, but because I *never* get spam like this. What’s wrong with moi?
just sign up for aa few dogy looking websites, give them your email address (or better yet give them a temporary hotmail address) and within days your private details will have been provided to everyone from the Nigerian Bank manager strugging to export his money, to the Russian girl who can’t seem to find a decent husband amongst her countrymen.
Don’t be too disillusioned Duk old chap. I get a friggin’ truckload of spam and most of it gets sucked away by SpamSieve and I never see it. Very occasionally I pick one up that’s amusing. The great bulk of it is boring bland mush.
I am Confuseds. Who keeps nUmbers in their ass these days?
They gotta come from somewhere…
Also rev, not sure if intentional, but you put a ‘wordis’ on point 4 of your help to the phishermen….
Um… was that the only mistake you found? :)
Well, the only one that looked potentially accidental. I mean, the ‘i’ has a floating dot that one could easily mistake for an apostrophe….
If you equate my suggestions to the numbers on the originals you will see my clever jape.
I had trouble accessing the Numbers in my aRse, until I purchased ArSo-NumbaGet. I got an email about it. (5278-59B)
Congratulations! You also get $1 million dollars! Please send acquisition fee immediately!
What strikes me about that line you’ve labeled ‘7’ is that it appears to have wandered in from some other e-mail. I mean, what are the odds whoever produced this specimen could actually have written two consecutive sentences of error-free, idiomatic English?
Yes, I thought the same. It’s like they suddenly went fluent and got a sense of humour at the same time. No doubt there is a bit of cut & paste with this kind of thing, but why the heck didn’t they cut & paste ‘Dear Customer’?
Still, I guess they are aiming at a particularly stupid class of human beings, so maybe none of this really matters.