Tue 18 Oct 2011
Fright Factor 10
Posted by anaglyph under Creepy, Idiots, In The News, Insane People, Ooky, Religion, Stupidity
[28] Comments
As you know, Faithful Acowlytes, I am quite fond of Halloween, and I like to do something a little… ‘spooky’, for you all each year as the holiday approaches. This year I have spooked even myself. Before you click on the following link, a warning: this is NOT FOR THE FAINT HEARTED. Are you ready?
See, I told you. Please compose yourself and we’ll reconvene in the comments for discussion.
I mean, FOR FUCK’S SAKE CHRISTIANS. You’ve already appropriated Christmas and Easter, ISN’T THAT ENOUGH?
I particularly liked this:
Yeah – they opened each bag with a smile BECAUSE THEY WERE EXPECTING A TREAT not a frigging BIBLE. Way to disappoint 40 children. I hope his house was comprehensively egged the following year.
That sorta ranks below the dentist that hands out toothbrushes at his door.
It seems as though these people can’t stand to see kids having a little bit of fun anymore.
C’mon – they can have fun. As long as it’s JesusFun.
There’s no fun to be had there. Its all misery.
Sweet Mary Jesus and Joseph. Please don’t do that to me again. I had to lie down to stop shaking.
(3082 followers!)
Like Queen Willy, I had to stop reading and have a Bex and nice lie-down.
No surprise it originated where it did. Prats!
(Mind you, the Pastor might be onto something with the hand-outs. Saves on shoe leather, I suppose…)
Yeah, but what’s he going to do with the other 260 bibles now that everyone avoids his place at Halloween?
Doesn’t quite have the same ring to it as Allahween.
Hahahhaa! Excellent. But you now have a fatwah out against you.
Funny, that’s exactly what I thought. Please refrain from forwarding my email.
Ooops. Sorry… Some guy – Omar Abdel-Rahman he said his name was – wrote and said you had something of his he wanted back. Since he was in your neighbourhood I thought maybe he left his cane at your place…
Pastaween?
Udderween?
I have a bad feeling about Ye Olde Udderween carving party, with all the family.
Brainsssssss….
Ramen, Queen Willy.
LOL
This doesn’t appear to be affiliated with any church. Besides, most Christians celebrate All Saints day in church, what with Halloween being secular and all. It isn’t as though this is, say, the Gideons doing it (like they do with bibles in the hotels).
Then again, if the Pagans can worship faeries on Halloween, I suppose passing out Gideon’s bibles isn’t the worst the JesusWeen (pronounced… hesuswain? Think Spanish.) folks could be doing.
Time to add a Seattle super-villain, methinks. Zombie Jesus. He works to reclaim the souls of the born-again Christians! His bite turns regular folks into Tea Party members and Fox News correspondents….
Geezes!! I need an exorcist after that rev!!If there is a better example of religious idiocy I’d like to see it!
On second thought forget that last statement. I would be inundated with examples.
On a different note, how accurate is the ‘ween’ translation? I always thought that ‘halloween’ was a contraction of ‘all hallows eve’
What the f*&k. Millions will swallow this turd and enjoy doing it.
Dates back quite a ways. The Neo-Pagans like to claim it, but it is very early Christian, as far as I can tell.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halloween
Halloween was probably appropriated by the Christians from the pagan Samhain around the 8th Century. Samhain is linked to the harvest festivals which possibly pre-date Christianity (evidence is sketchy for that, but the harvest festivals probably date back an awfully long way). The date for All Saints (All Hallow’s Eve) was moved from May to November in most of Europe, possibly by Pope Gregory III, but possibly by someone earlier than him.
So as is plain, Samhain was tied to the time of the year by a biological/geophysical process, whereas the Christian Church could move events as they chose. Not hard to see which was probably the earlier tradition.
They don’t even know what the word comes from? All Hallow’s Eve -> Hallow E’en.
So how do you get “ween” from that? Are they just trying to make a dick joke at Jesus’ expense?
Like this one:
No, I kid, I totally get their point: Jesus was a zombie before being a zombie was cool!
Which reminds my of my favorite summation of the religion.
YES!!!
Hrm, first image link not working, shoulda been:
http://likethemermaid.com/archives/3193
Whilst playing Scribblenauts Remix, I discovered that I can make a God Zombie. Sadly, it won’t let me make a Jesus Zombie. Nevertheless, it’s kinda fun making a lot of God Zombies and watching them duke it out.
How surprising, the first image that floated up was a pair of hands full of what appeared to be gold coins.
And they say ‘not for profit’, yeah right! Jesusweener.
The King
Yeah, the site is something, that’s for sure. I may visit it again before Halloween.