Tetherd Cow Ahead

You know, I reckon that if Jesus could have looked forward in time to all the things for which he’d be responsible, he’d have stayed in the carpentry workshop and carved out a career making sideboards and nice nested table sets.

From today’s Sydney Morning Herald:

‘A large metallic ball has fallen out of the sky on a remote grassland in Namibia, prompting baffled authorities to contact NASA and the European space agency.’

The authorities in Namibia obviously are baffled easily, at least by technology. This is evidenced less by the fact that don’t know what this thing is, than that they don’t know how to use the internet. Within mere seconds of the above photograph appearing in the media the object had been identified ((It’s a hydrazine propellant tank, commonly used on satellite launch vehicles.)) by at least, oh, a thousand less-than-baffled people.

The best part of the AFP report, though, is this phrase:

‘It was made of a “metal alloy known to man” and weighed six kilograms, said police forensics director Paul Ludik.’

Is it just me, or is there a whimsical phantom ‘not’ lurking in that quoted description? To precis the whole event: a welded spherical object made by humans fell in the desert. Just how baffling is this, really, in an age where there are over three thousand satellites orbiting the earth and thousands of other flying craft ploughing through the atmosphere every day? Not very, is the considered TCA assessment.

Anyways, elsewhere in Namibia, a less-reported phenomenon occurred. This strange metal sphere, featuring a message in a language known to man (and woman, quite bizarrely) really has the experts baffled. I leave it with you to ponder its meaning.

Don’t be baffled for too long though. You’ll need all your wits about you come January 1.

Oh yes, my loyal Cowmrades. You didn’t really think I’d forget…?

Simple Graphics Man demonstrates the peril in store for naughty boys and girls who go snooping for Xmas presents.

Hmm. Not very Xmassy is it?

That’s better!

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Today’s SGM comes to you courtesy of Atlas

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This rather bizarre email arrived in my inbox this morning. It didn’t seem to be pitching anything in particular ((Unless it’s a cunningly clever advertisement for yellow sponges or Mercedes. Or Jamaican holidays.)) and had nothing but a return email address. I present it here for you in full (I have marked points of interest):

Urgent Prayer – My jamaican neighbor next door is bringing all these people with these white exotic cars trucks and especially white mercedes bens people to live with them and throwing yellow sponges on my porch and other stuff in my yard. I want and pray that The Lord will make these people with this white mercedes ben car to move away from next door with marie and michelle right now because they are really getting on my last nerves. Marie and michelle are causing so much trouble for me and trying to make me jealous of them and make other neighbors in our neighborhood jealous of them by having all of these people that they know and do not know to come to their townhouse with white cars and trucks. The Lord Blessed me with a white truck because i was involved in a hit and run accident in 12/10 and i was walking 18 blocks to catch the bus and now marie and michelle next door is so jealous of my white truck and have these people with a white mercedes ben to come and live with them causing trouble for me and trying to make me and the other neighbors in our community jealous. Marie is getting on my last nerve and I am so sick of marie and michelle and all of these other jamaicans who come over to their house next door. Please Pray with me that The Lord will make now the people with this white mercedes ben move and never come back now and nobody else never come there In Jesus Name Amen

Here is a pictorial aid to help you get a better grasp of the scenario: