Tetherd Cow Ahead

Just because it involves xkcd and robots.

(Click pic for full strip)

The return of One Eye.

Make your own!

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Via Matt’s Musings. Thanks Matt!

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Spare me once more from the morons.

I’ve spoken before about senator Stephen Conroy[tippy title=”*”]Just testing to make sure you paid attention to the last post.[/tippy], the politician who somehow[tippy title=”†”]One can only speculate that he won the position on the hoop-la or the chocolate wheel.[/tippy] has ended up being Australia’s advisor on all things internet, and today the Cow’s attention turns toward him once more. This time, it’s because he has decided to offer up his advice on internet security.[tippy title=”‡”]After an ignominious (yet predictably sanctimonious) backdown on the imbecilic ‘Clean Feed’ proposal.[/tippy] And Spagmonster knows that a guy with his level of 1337 k3wl is going to have some pretty U$3PhUL words to say on the matter. Am I right?

Yes, Senator Conroy, wearing his white hat out in public for all the world to see, yesterday launched Australia’s National Change Your Password Day.

“No one wants to lose their bank details to criminals or fall victim to an online scam and that’s why it’s important that people understand simple steps, such as getting a better, stronger password, can help them stay smart online and protect their personal information.”

Password? Password? Are you reading what I’m reading here? Stephen Conroy seems to be under the impression that people use only ONE PASSWORD!

Further demonstrating his uncanny 1337 (r3D3|\|714L$, Conroy goes on to recommend that:

…passwords always include letters and numbers and warned people to be vigilant. “Stop and think before you click on links or attachments.”

Jesus H. Christ. You’d think this guy has only just discovered the internet. What really worries me is that maybe that’s true.

Australians, answer me this: of all the people we could have had appointed to look after the most exciting and powerful concept to come the way of human civilization since the invention of language, why have we been saddled with a cretin? Not just someone who isn’t quite up to date with the latest and the neatest (that would be understandable) but someone who hasn’t got the faintest clue what he’s talking about. Worse, he hasn’t got the faintest clue, but he doesn’t know how to sound like he does!

Excuse me. I have to go change my password.

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†One can only speculate that he won the position on the hoop-la or the chocolate wheel.

‡After an ignominious (yet predictably sanctimonious) backdown on the imbecilic ‘Clean Feed’ proposal.

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I’m sure most of you have already figured it out, but I just wanted to explain the little signifiers[tippy title=”*”]Like this one.[/tippy] that I’ve been using in posts over the last few weeks. As you will have no doubt figured out by now, I am very fond of footnotes when I’m writing,[tippy title=”†”]…because they act like little asides. Sometimes I want to ‘comment’ on something, but also not interfere with the flow of the story.[/tippy] but since this is a hyperlink medium I’ve always found it a little irritating to make it necessary for my readers to have to scroll to the bottom of the page to read the jolly asides.[tippy title=”‡”]See how much I care about you all![/tippy] It’s especially annoying in long posts, and I fear that it is actually more upsetting to the flow of the narrative than if I’d actually chucked the comment in at the time.

In the modern world of internet communication, where we should not be under the thrall of rigid page-based text, it seemed to me odd that there was no way of ‘hyper-commenting’ on what I was writing. For a while I tried a plug-in called Tippy that was promising, but it was buggy and refused to work properly under Safari.

Well I am pleased to say that Tippy is now fully functional and after trialling it for a few weeks I am satisfied that it will be reliable enough to install permanently here on The Cow.

So, now when you see the little red characters popping up here and there, all you need to do is hover your mouse over the symbol and you will see the footnote. It will fade away once you move your mouse off again. If there is a link in the footnote, you can click on it and it will activate in a new window.[tippy title=”**”]Try it! Cool
huh?![/tippy]

I’ll still keep the footnotes at the bottom of the posts for all you Old School types who refuse to have anything to do with this new-fangled quantum-digital-electromagnetic-fields jiggery-pokery, but for the rest of you, I hope this new functionality[tippy title=”††”]
– what I shall henceforth dub ‘dynamic meta-commenting’…[/tippy] adds a new level of smoothness and enjoyment to your Cow experience.

Thank you for your attention. We now resume normal programming.

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*Like this one.

†…because they act like little asides. Sometimes I want to ‘comment’ on something, but also not interfere with the flow of the story.

‡See how much I care about you all!

**Try it! Cool huh?!

††- what I shall henceforth dub ‘dynamic meta-commenting’…

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…today at 11.15 am. So yes, someone is still buying it. Scary, huh?

It was flanked on one side by Bovril (an equally disgusting beverage) and on the other by chicken stock. Oddly, it was many aisles removed from the coffee and tea.

(See also: Sugar and a Slice of Lemon?)