Tetherd Cow Ahead

In Coogee, Sydney. I wonder if they appreciate the irony at all? Click on the pic for the full experience.

___________________________________________________________________________

Thanks to hewhohears for the intrepid photo-scouting for this one! Anyone else find any of these, please send ’em on in.

___________________________________________________________________________

These two shops side-by-side on Parramatta Road in Sydney. Click on the pic for the full experience.

___________________________________________________________________________

Thanks to Pil for the excellent photo!

___________________________________________________________________________

OK. Now from the get go I want to impress upon you that I’m not making any of this up. Y’know, I just couldn’t in my screwiest dreams. I opened the envelope and this is what I found:

A cotton glove, a vial of ‘anointing’ oil and a plastic baggie. I swear.

It’s not enough that Prophet Pete writes to me about his 5.30 am ‘powerful flowings’ whilst calling out my name – now he’s evidently hinting that I get in on the act as well.

Let me see. What does he say in his letter this time… life changing opportunity… all things are possible… God’s hand touches you… Aha! Here’s the nitty gritty:

Take the enclosed packet of Holy Oil and completely cover your hand and place your HAND into the HAND OF GOD GLOVE… letting the oil saturate your needs. THEN FOLD IT AND RETURN IT TO ME along with this page as soon as possible after you place the glove into the enclosed zip lock bag.*

Really, I totally swear I’m not making it up!

Before you put it into the zip lock bag… TUCK YOUR SEED GIFT OF $20.00 into the HAND OF GOD GLOVE… saying “I CONFESS BOLDLY, GOD’S PLAN IS TO PROSPER ME, ELEVATE ME, AND CAUSE HIS FAVOR TO SHINE UPON ME. AS I FOLLOW GOD’S PLAN TODAY, ALL THAT MY HANDS TOUCH WILL BE BLESSED, AND FAVORED OF GOD, THIS SEED DETERMINES MY GREAT HARVEST THAT GOD WILL RELEASE TO ME.”

Now, is it just me, or is all this talk of oiling up your hand, powerful flowings and tucking your seed becoming just a teeny bit disturbing…?

The letter goes on for pages and pages and pages and pages and pages and pages and pages and pages and pages and pages and pages and pages and pages and pages and pages and pages and pages and pages and pages and pages and pages and pages and pages and pages and pages and pages and pages and pages until shortly before signing off, Prophet Pete promises to send me yet another gift:

GOD HAS GIVEN ME 3 FAITH CONTACTS TO RETURN TO YOU… God told me to send you 3 sticks of gum.

I swear on the Noodly Appendages of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I really am not making any of this up.

___________________________________________________________________________

*All emphasis exactly as it appears on the letter.

___________________________________________________________________________

A letter from Peter Popoff is always an unexpected surprise! Well, not really, since he sends them with unrelenting tenacity, but hey.

Like many of these Popoff Epistles, this one contains something, and I thought I might share the anticipation and excitement of the Glorious Gift with you all.

So. Guesses to what’s inside? (Whatever it is, it appears to be a few inches long, flattish and squishy).

___________________________________________________________________________

My mail redirection from the old house ends pretty soon and I’ll kind of miss old Prophet Pete’s dogged determination to get my money. NOT.

___________________________________________________________________________

Spam Observations #46

I notice that it’s been quite some while since I’ve posted up one of my Spam Observations. This is not for a want of actual spam, you understand – I get bucketloads of that every day. No, it’s mostly because the quality of the spam I’ve been getting has plateaued out into a banal greyish phlegm with nothing at all to distinguish it from the efforts of a million monkeys at typewriters. Gone is the time when spammers actually tried to sell their useless gimcrackery. Their efforts now seem to have degenerated into a kind of indifferent spew aimed at… well, who can say what it is they hope to achieve? I certainly can’t see how a one line email apathetically suggesting the purchase of watch-that-looks-like-a-Rolex-but-isn’t can be even remotely persuasive as a sales pitch. But hey, it must work in some way or another or I guess they’d stop doing it.

So while my new best buddy Evan Eva* doesn’t reach the poetic or literate heights that we’ve seen in the past from Landon Flanagan, Rhonda K or Raymondo, he at least got a laugh out of me with his email this morning:

From: siredd@fr-kristiansen.no
Subject: Interesting mp3 Demi Moore
Date: 11 April 2008 7:33:09 PM

Jennifer Lopez Full video without cowards. The dvd is Interesting! Only 1 day trial – get this Shocking photo now!

w00t! I’ve only got the JLo video that comes with the cowards, so I can’t wait to see the one that’s coward-free! And most Demi Moore recordings I’ve heard are less than interesting. Oh how I love the internets!!

___________________________________________________________________________

*There’s that hint of Spammer Gender Confusion again…

___________________________________________________________________________