Tetherd Cow Ahead

Dear Sister Veronica,

Do you live with Reverend Anaglyph in his house? Do you think he will ever post an entry about his Mysterious Corner ever again?

You are so hot,

Michael

Hey Michael!!! Props!

OMG I think U must be a PiScEs, rite???!!! Coz PiScEs is the St@r sIgN of CURIOSITY + MYSTERY *wink*….. I think U kno what I mean… LOL!!!

Now U R as BAD as PrOwL3r – tryign 2 find out where I live!! *blush*……. wot would tha R3v3r3nd think!! He is SUCH a kind man, and alwayz haz pl3nty of fluffy white towels 4 me! LOL!

As 4 **Mysteriouz Korner**, he tellz me that there is a surprize coming up SOON!!!! OMG I can HARDLY WAIT!!!!!

I know U REALLY wrote to find out your St@Rz 4 this week, am I rite?? Well, looking at yr ch@rt I see ***LOTS*** of ☆☆☆RoMaNcE☆☆☆ heading yr way *wink*…. but coz Pluto is in the ascend@nt, and its, like, NOT A PLANET anymore, watch out 4 ppl who R NOT what they seem!!!!!

Also this w33k, yr lucky numb3r is 23 ** and yr lucky color is GREEN!! ** and yr lucky vegetable is TURNIP!!!

Yorz Trooooly…

XOXOXOXOX

The Art of (Cat) War #2 – Contentious Ground:

Be careful when reaching into dark or enclosed spaces.

Spam Observations #30

My feiend Jacquelyn wrote to me this morning with this offer:

Dear client.
You crave to shoot like a film star…?
Tonight you’ll prove your volume!

I sent off immediately!

___________________________________________________________________________

*Or: Happiness Is A Warm Gun

Spam Observations #29

Over the last week, my inbox has been assaulted by numerous variations on the following:

From Marshall:

Tyson verbalized to me that you probably discovered about the deal on losing those extra pds, my time has been taken up with this schedule, that has been consulting me lose my spare tire. Burton and me have been on this therapy

From Louise:

Darrell spoken to me that you presumably heard about the knowledge on living a fuller, better life, I have been so busy on this diet, that has been assisting me get back in how I was in college. Jerome and me have been on this program

From Rupert:

Lolita verbalized to me that you probably discovered about the news on making those calories work for you, just wanted you to hear about the new program, that has been guiding me shed those xtra pds. Florine and me have been on this therapy

Marshall, Tyson, Burton, Louise, Darrell, Jerome, Rupert, Lolita, Florine. Who the hell are all these fat people and why are they bothering me?

I remember reading an interview with Madonna some years back in which she claimed that she had given up all the wacky belief systems she’d been into and now had taken up Kabbalah. ‘Cos, like, that’s not a wacky belief system, right?

So of course she wouldn’t endorse some loopy scheme involving pouring ‘blessed’ water into lakes polluted with nuclear waste to ‘cleanse’ them, right?

And she wouldn’t be lobbying the British Government to approve the scheme, right?

Yes, loyal Acowlytes, I can see that you’ve grasped the rhetorical nature of those questions. Madonna is indeed trying to persuade government officials that enchanted magic water will eliminate the problem of radioactive contamination.

Here’s a quote from Madonna in which she casually attempts to hint that, in spite of what we all thinks she spends her days doing, she’s actually been hangin’ out with the geek crowd:

“I mean, one of the biggest problems that exists right now in the world is nuclear waste,” she said. “That’s something I’ve been involved with for a while with a group of scientists – finding a way to neutralise radiation, believe it or not.”

Yep, Madonna has been beavering away behind the scenes in the lab with her egg-head homies solving all the world’s problems while you have been doing what? Just pirating her mp3s and dropping E, I’ll wager.

It occurs to me that there is a scientific equation that can be solved here. Madonna is rich and, with very little acumen about just how it might be done, wants to save the world. On the other side of the plus sign, the Steorn crackpots are looking for gullible air-heads with plenty of spare cash. If only someone would put them together – then they might amuse one another for years and eventually disappear up each other’s magnetic vortex.

You know, I really hate to admit it, but in light of all this I have really developed a new respect for Bill Gates.

Yesterday, whilst trawling the WWW as I my wont, I came across an image file of a document with the Dalai Lama’s signature at the bottom.

k3w1! Being a krafty h4xOr maybe I could steal the Dalai Lama’s identity!

I wonder if that would aid or impede my progress toward Enlightenment?