Tetherd Cow Ahead

Well it’s not often that you get the scoop over boing-boing, so I have to gloat that we were well ahead of the wave here on The Cow:

This article from this morning about a guy who’s just discovered that FAEs can be used for underground pest control.

Yawn. So Last Century…

The Cow is one year old today! Who’da thought I’d ever have enough things to say to keep it going this long? Yeah yeah, hands down at the back. I never said important things to say. If I had important things to say I’d be working on my Pulitzer.

Well, it appears to be de rigeur on media anniversaries to revisit the year that has past, so I thought I’d put up some of my favourite posts for nostalgia’s sake. There’s no rhyme nor reason among them, just a selection of things that took my fancy. Sometimes it’s more for the commentary by you guys than the post itself. So I thank you for your wit, your wisdom (although lord knows there’s precious little of that) and especially for making me laugh.

Salut!

♥Bored Housewives: in which a small tragedy is revealed.

♥Schrodinger’s Curry: in which quantum physics does something mysterious and inscrutable. As usual.

♥Half a Bladder: in which a curious phone message is received.

♥That Which We Call a Rose…: in which Little Noodle sums it all up in one line, and Joey Polanski made me laugh more than I can say.

♥Invisible Ink: in which I amuse myself and confuse everyone else.

♥Flying Pig Shit: in which Internet wisdom is examined and found wanting (surprise!).

♥Physical Attraction: in which we take a look at Schrodinger’s Pussy.

♥River Deep Mountain High: in which vodka and rancid yoghurt drinks are discussed.

♥The Metropolis: in which a few people are taken in by my jolly jape.

♥This Is Not a Hoax: in which the commentary actually had real-life consequences ( Pil & William, I promise you’ll love every moment…)

♥Call Me Reverend: in which I fulfill a life-long ambition.

Well, I won’t go any more recent than that. I’m sure you either remember back to at least November, or if you don’t, have good reasons for wanting to forget.

Onward into 2006!

Thanks in absentia to Imaginative Icing from whom I stole the image.

The Continuing Misfortunes of Simple Graphics Man ~

#10: The Precipitous Precipice.

Simple Graphics Man goes for a clifftop walk, but the fresh sea air goes to his head and he strays a mite too close to the edge…

Thanks Pete for the pic.

I am having my morning coffee in my favourite cafe, doing the Cryptic Crossword, as is my wont. A guy comes in and sits at a table near me. He orders a coffee, takes out his pen and opens at the puzzle pages. I watch to see if he is doing the Cryptic or the Quick. He fills in a clue on the Cryptic. He glances up and sees that I am on the Cryptic. We exchange looks. Right On Word Friend! Who would bother with the Quick?

Another guy comes in and sits down at the table under the window. He orders a coffee, takes out his pen and opens the paper. Crossword Guy and I watch… Cryptic or Quick? He turns to the puzzles… he puts his pen to the paper and starts on the… Sudoku…

Crossword Guy and I just look at one another and shake our heads.

This is a leaf from a small plant in a pot in my backyard. It’s a tree. An apple tree in fact, and not just any apple tree. It’s an identical copy of perhaps the most famous apple tree in the history of humankind (I exclude mythical apple trees).

Let me tell you its story.

My friend Rod is a cider maker. In Australia it’s pretty hard to make good cider unless you grow your own apples, because cider is not just made from your average garden-variety apple tree. As a consequence, Rod has become fairly knowedgeable about apple trees, and especially interested in apple trees that might have a little bit of heritage.

Some years ago, Rod’s partner Michelle was in Parkes, in western NSW, on holiday with their children. Parkes is the home of one of Australia’s most famous scientific landmarks, the Parkes Radio Telescope,* which was a stop on their itinerary. While they were there, Michelle noticed an old apple tree in the grounds. A small plaque on the neglected tree told visitors that it was a descendant of the tree under which Isaac Newton sat while formulating his hypotheses on the nature of the force of gravity. Rod travelled to Parkes and asked the management at the telescope if he might take some cuttings. It worked out well – the old tree got a much-needed prune, and Rod got a number of cuttings, or scions.

Rod tells me that his research has uncovered the information that the variety of the tree is called ‘Flower of Kent’ and the original tree was growing in Newton’s mother’s garden at Woolsthorpe Manor, near Grantham in Lincolnshire. Newton had gone there to escape the plague which was rife in London at the time, and stayed there from 1665-1666 while he was consolidating his ideas on gravitation.

Apple trees are usually propagated clonally, that is, cuttings from one tree are grafted onto a sturdy rootstock to grow into maturity. This means that the descendants of the Newton tree are genetically identical to their parent tree. Clones of the Newton tree have been circulated to various scientific institutions across the globe. Parkes Radio Telescope was one of the destinations to which a Newton apple made its way. Rod made several new clones from the parent, one of which went back to the telescope grounds to be re-established in a suitable place at the visitor centre.

Rod also very kindly gave me one of the new little trees. I am not really sure he knew exactly how much it meant to me, but it is one of the most wonderful gifts I have ever received. I really wish I had a garden in which I could plant it. My tiny inner city house has nowhere at all for me to put it as it starts to grow. I’m now on the lookout for its new home. My intention is to plant it this winter with the ashes of my beloved Kate. I know she would like that.

*The Parkes Radio Telescope played an important part in the Apollo 11 moon landing.

My lucky-dip present from my mate Pete at our writing group’s annual Christmas meeting was this ‘Super High’ set of sunglasses. The packaging promises ‘Super Amusive Play’ and warns ‘This Is a Toy!’ (just in case you get so Super High that you are tempted to wear them to your next United Nations press briefing).

But the best part is the contents description:

It says at the bottom: ‘Specifications colours and contents may vary from illustration.’

Fantastic! They could stick anything in this bag and not get sued.

But I know that the thing you all really want to see is how cool I look wearing them. Oh very well.